We all lie, and if say you aren't.... please. Quit lying! ;)
One thing I've found pretty interesting... nobody "gets real".
We are all pretending.
We are all hiding behind a mask... something we don't want anyone to see or know.
I've been there, done that. I've just now figured out how to take off the mask for good and simply be. And it's still hard to maintain and continue just being who He wants me to be and not pretending like everyone else.
One thing I found myself doing was not just lying to people, or "pretending" but also lying to myself and shamefully, lying to God. As if I could ever hide anything from Him.
There was a time in my life not long ago, that I spent quite a while trying to please people and not being myself. I listened to lies not only from others; such as "you need to "grow up", I also got lies from satan like "you'll never amount to anything." "nobody loves you." blah blah. Most importantly they were all LIES.
Side note: Don't listen to satan because he is the king of all liars (the Word says so) and if anyone ever tells you to "grow up", not because they are seeking your good but wanting to degrade you, just say what I do... "I don't want to. I'm proud to be a child of God."
Why are people afraid to go deep? Our culture only goes straight to the surface and if you attempt to go any deeper, people stop you saying you're being a "downer" or the annoying response, "stop searching and just live!" That's the worst.
When do you get to the point that you're done with being satisfied with surface things and want to go deeper? Want to search? I don't have an exact time or age, but I would say that time is right now for me. Maybe it's right now for you. Maybe you should do some soul searching. Mere suggestions. Only you can truly answer those questions.
The other night, I sat down, before the Lord, worship music playing, lights turned off, Bible opened and just began praying and seeking. Seeking for what's missing. Seeking for why I am not satisfied with life as it is now and the Lord began saying to me that it's because He is not my everything. If my heart's desires are the same as His, if my wants are the same as His, if my love is the same as His I believe I will be satisfied, but to get there means to go through being unsatisfied with my life, my self, my everything, to find that His life, His self, His everything is true and satisfying and can never be taken from me no matter what.
I'm tired of me. Like physically tired and emotionally tired of me. I want Him. I need Him. I want His realness, trueness, love, faithfulness to be mine. I am His, He is mine. That must describe me. Define me.
Stop pretending. Sit down. Get away from the computer, your phone, anything that might distract you, and figure out what you want. Better yet, figure out what God wants for you (because He can think of things that are so much better than you can think of!!) It's time to take off the mask, stop pretending like you like everything everyone else likes, and figure out what's best for you and the Lord. Figure out what He wants for you. Stop believing the lies. Be real. Be His. Love y'all! :)