12.05.2011

If all I can be is obedient...

I sat comfortably around my friends. Around the people I call my Brothers and Sisters.
And I watched.

I watched a man with deep pain in his eyes tell people he lives in Japan and because he lost his job he is considered worthless.

I saw a woman who had no other way to make money than to give herself away.

I watched a man puff out smoke because he thinks it will bring him peace and comfort.. even if only for a little while.

Then... then I cried.

Last night I'm sitting in my room thinking about the video I had watched. I'm thinking of all of the people everywhere on this earth who are hurting and in pain. I cried. Deep, soulful sobs for the ones I don't know and for the ones I do. I don't know most of their names. Yet I love them more than anything. I hate seeing people who have such great potential let it die a little more each day because they have believed the lies the enemy has fed them.

I couldn't help but think as I watched this video that there we were, sitting nice and comfortable not afraid for our lives, not freezing out in the cold, not half naked or might as well be because they're barely wearing threads anymore it's so worn out. I hate my comfortable life.

I want to move. Not really move as in get a new home in a different area. I want to move as in out of my comfortable life into one that I know God has for me. Not that being comfortable is a problem... but it kinda is. I'm not to be conformed to this world and I hardly think Jesus wants me to look out at the world and see all the hurt and pain and do nothing about it.

It's not just the homeless, the prostitute, the stripper, the drug dealer, etc. who are hurting. It's your next door neighbor, the person you sit next to at church, the girl who runs on the track with you every day, that dude at your work. I don't have to look far to see someone hurting. I don't have to look far to find someone to tell about the love and peace and hope I have found in Christ. I just don't have to look far.

I question myself... if I am comfortable in everything that I do am I even living for the Lord? Because being comfortable does not require any faith whatsoever. I don't believe I'm called to a comfortable life. I'm sure Paul wasn't comfortable when he walked this earth. He's one of the godliest men that's walked among us. A great example to us. He was obedient no matter what God asked him to do.

I want that to be me. Seeking God's will above everyone else's. Leaving the comforts of this world because I am indeed made for another one. I want those pained faces to be comforted not because of me... because I can't take away their pain, but because of Christ in me shining through.

Lord, if the only thing I can do is be obedient to You, then may it be so.

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