12.02.2011

Longed to be loved...

She sat on the floor glancing up in between crunches and sit ups.
I want to look like that, she thought.
I want to be pretty. Desired. Fulfilled. Find my purpose in life.

She longed to be loved.

He loves me. I just know it. He's confused. I'll keep him around. Make him happy.
Fulfill him. I will be his everything again. All I need to do is give him what he wants.

She longed to be loved.

It's gonna be okay. Everyone knows it. My parents will be happier. I just need a job. Be a better daughter. They'll be happy. I can please them. I know it.

She longed to be loved.

My life is worthless. So am I. All I do is mess up. Nobody loves me or cares for me and what on earth am I even here for?

She longs to be loved.

Chances are you are (if you're a female) one of these above. Maybe you're all of them. I've been there. The reason I can write the things I write is because I have had the same or at least similar feelings and experiences. It's not over though.

You ARE loved.

After I figured out that my appearance does not determine my worth (I'm still learning) and that my love for myself and for others does not come by how I look or how they look. I have found out another thing. God loves me. He cares for me. He sees me. He notices me. I wanted to be noticed so bad when I was younger... I'm really glad to know that I've always been noticed. Do you know that? You are noticed too!

You are pursued. You are cared for (more than you can ever imagine). God does not look down
on you with a grimace on His face. He knows every mistake you've made and will make. He still loves you. Remember this? He doesn't change. He never will. Which means His love will never change for you. Ever. Period.

I can't make you believe that you are loved and pursued. I wish I could. Really I do. However, I can't. This is personal. You have to pray to Him to help you believe it. He will answer. He has always answered me and many others. He always will. Psalm 34:4 says, "I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears." He answers.

My challenge to you, if you're having a hard time believing your worth and finding your identity go read Psalm 139. Read it over and over and over again and then start praying it. You will begin to see your worth as the beautiful, precious, holy, clean, pure, daughter of the Most High. I love you all!! Have a blessed Friday!

2 comments:

  1. hi tara! lauren here, from good women project. :) i saw your comment on the donate page & didn't know if my reply would send you an email or not, so i just wanted to let you know that yes - there are other ways to donate. you can send me an email at goodwomenproject@gmail.com & we can work it out!! thank you so much for your sweet offer.

    also, i LOVE this post. so beautiful. keep writing.

    - lauren xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tara! Ahh, Psalm 139 is my favorite. And this is beautiful. So so true.

    ReplyDelete

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