Looking back when I should've said goodbye...

Pain. Hurt. Bondage.

Love. Grace. Freedom.

Satan has no arms. He can't hold me back or make me do anything. That's all me. Giving in instead of letting go.

Well last night at church I talked with a godly woman to get advice on some things going on in my life. While talking to her God began speaking to me. He told me I need to really let go. I thought I had.

People say all the time "let go and let God.", but honestly I think that not many people even know what it means to let go because it's usually never done. I know that sometimes I don't know what that means. We "let go" while still trying to control everything that goes on in our lives. Maybe it's not that we don't know what letting go means, but that we are afraid to let go.

I was hurt. He hurt me deep. I was so angry. It turned to hatred. I went through the process of forgiveness only to start it all over again a month later. I said I had "let go and let God", but really I hadn't.

The healing process is not fast or easy. Don't let anyone tell you it is a 'one day and done' deal. It's not. It's a process. Just like forgiving. You have to go through every little thing and say, "I forgive you" just like when you go to God you need to say, "Heal me. Heal this area... and this one... and this one." It's all a process.

I've been looking back when I should've said goodbye from the very beginning. Every time God reminds me that I don't need to look back because the past is the past for a reason, I still sneak a peek hoping maybe the past has changed since I last looked. It hasn't. It won't. It never will. The past stays the same. Never changing.

If you're like me you've been hurt. We've all been hurt. You might be holding on to it. You might be looking back when you need to say goodbye. I know hurt very well. You probably do too. "He didn't change."  "She never will."  "Why did he leave?"  "Why doesn't she love me?" etc.

This is a new month. Another fresh start. November is officially gone with all it's worries and hurt and pain. I think it's time to let go. All of us. Falling down at the Lord's feet and letting it all go. That pain, hurt, all the tears, worry, frustration, etc. Falling down I say, "Here, Lord, take these from me. They aren't mine to carry anymore."

"Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

He does. He cares so much for you. He loves you. Let go and let God... move in your life and make you brand new. He wants it all. Happy December!!! :)

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