12.29.2011

What I Learned in 2011: God is my first love

I want love. I want to be loved every day of my life. For a while, I just wanted a guy to love me. The beginning of this year I was begging God to let me have just one relationship with a guy. I got what I wanted. Love from a human being doesn't satisfy.

In 2011 I learned that God is my first love.

For years I have sought love from a male. Maybe it's because my father was never active or present in my life. Maybe it's because we are born with the desire to be loved by the opposite sex. Whatever the reason, that desire grew a little more each year.

When we begin to seek love from anything or anyone other than God we are getting ourselves into trouble. I lost... left my First Love for 7 months. I went out into the world and I found all that I was hoping to find, except it wasn't what I thought it was. Everything I found just wasn't enough. It didn't satisfy me, it didn't help me, it didn't fill me up or help me spill over all that's within me. I was so lost.

God didn't give up on me though. God never gives up on us no matter what. He is the constant pursuer. You'd think that with the great amount of love He gives us, we wouldn't run away. I mean, I don't know of any guy that would love me even when I spat in His face. Ohhhh, but Jesus does. ^.^ <3

I came back to my Lord. Broken and in need of major healing. He welcomed me back with hugs and kisses and for the first time I really and truly felt love. Not only did I feel it, but I wasn't second guessing whether it was real, or enough, or even there. No. Because God's love is very real and authentic and forever. His love satisfies me more and more each day. His love has filled me up so much that it just spills over into every area of my life. I am learning to love people with and through His love, not my own.

My desire for a man is still there. I haven't given up hope that God might have someone out there for me to marry. However, I'm not running out trying to find a guy to fill the void anymore. The void is filled. My heart is filled. My life is filled. Everything I ever hoped for has been found in my Savior. I am so thankful.

You might be seeking love. Chances are if you don't know Jesus, you are. My prayer... the cry of my heart is that you seek Him and His love and not love from a girl or from a guy. God is our First Love. Our Forever Love. He never leaves and never fails. Even an amazing husband or wife will fail. Not our Lord. We cannot love truly until we know Love itself and that is God.

"And we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and the one who remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him." - 1 John 4:16

That's my prayer for us all. Have a blessed day! :)

1 comment:

  1. "He welcomes us back with hugs and kisses."Yeah yesyesyes He does! He is such an amazing lover and Savior!

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