2011 brought many, many trials and tests. I failed so many of them. However, I did win a few with the help of my Savior. :)
In 2011 I learned to never give up.
I've always been the type of person who knew what I wanted and did absolutely everything in my power to get what I wanted. That was, until my teenage years hit. Suddenly everything went down hill. I no longer wanted anything simply because I wanted it. It had to be what everyone else liked and desired. Then I would like and desire it too. I lost my drive. Mostly because the things I was forcing myself to like were things I was not passionate about. No passion = no drive. No drive = going nowhere.
This year throughout all the trails and tests I learned what I did want. What I liked. I learned that I love Jesus a lot. I learned that I want what He wants and truly that all my passion and desires are found in Him. I learned that when I'm passionate about what He's passionate about, the world changes.
There came a time this year.. around May I think, that life seemed to be going nowhere for me. I was so beyond ready to give up. I contemplated taking my life. I called a couple people hoping they'd talk me out of it. Got the usual, "Pray through it. You're in my prayers." and don't get me wrong, now I see how Awesome God is and how powerful He is, but at that moment I was thinking anything but that. I did what they told to anyways. I prayed. I was so tired. Emotionally I was worn out. My body was tired. Everything within me was just ready to go to sleep and never wake up.
BUT GOD, He did something within me. He told me not to give up. To keep pushing. To keep pursuing Him. To stop trying to be perfect and to just be in Him. To show my brokenness, hopelessness, hatred, tears, all of that, and lay it down at His feet. I did just that. My life will never be the same.
We are about to start a new year. I'm thankful that 2012 will be fresh and new and I'm positive and hopeful it will be even better than this year. However, you don't have to wait for a new year to change. I think we all do that too often.
You might be tired. Really tired. And life may seem like it's not worth living. Like it's not worth. Like there is too much going on for you to ever possibly get through it. Those are all lies! Satan is the father of lies! Don't believe him. You have a purpose and plan on this earth. God has got you. Let Him love you. Let Him lead you. You will never regret following Him. Ever.
Happy New Years Eve everyone! Have a blessed and safe one! ^.^