I've believed the lies...

This week has been so crazy. In a good way, but crazy nonetheless. God is moving so strongly in my life right now and I love it!

I've been thinking... a lot. Deeply and about so many things. I don't even know where to start so bear with me. :)

So I've been thinking a lot about sex. Now don't go spewing coffee on your computer or thinking, "Well, that's definitely a sin." because I don't mean like that. I've been thinking about how God intended sex to be and how today, we don't use it for His purposes. Allow me to explain.

I've believed the lies. The lies that your self value as a female comes from how many guys ask you out in a week or how many dudes heads turn as you pass by. I didn't have a father there to tell me how to decipher the jerks from the good guys, and every guy I've given a chance has taken advantage of it and proven they are just like all the others.

I've learned my value doesn't come from my outward appearance or how many guys like it. 'Cause truly, dudes who call you "hot" only want what they see. It's not "love at first sight" it's lust at first sight! I've also learned not all guys are jerks. Oh girl, your jaw just dropped didn't it? It's true. Not all guys are jerks. There are quite a few, but not all of them are like everybody else.

I've been raised with a lot negative thoughts towards men. I mean, my dad left me, all the guys I've known have made that saying, 'They only have one thing on their mind' true. What was I supposed to think? Then, I met some solid Christian guys. Not guys I'm interested in, just guys who are great friends and truly love the Lord.

See girls, all guys are not the same. It's just we've been around the wrong guys. The guys who say they love Jesus, but don't. Or the guys who say they want only you, but are with a different girl every other night. But men who are truly Jesus loving, godly, pure men... those guys are different.

To the guys, I'm sorry us girls have treated you like every other guy. Continue being an example to the boys who haven't yet matured enough to see that women are more than play-things. Be patient with us girls who haven't had the privilege of being around godly men. We're not used to it. It's a process.

Now, with that being said... girls I really need to talk with you about something I struggle with daily and I'm sure you probably do too.

We are to be godly, pure, ladies. Do people know what ladies are anymore? Sometimes I don't think they do. I mean, I look around and see Nicki Minaj, Brittney Spears, and Miley Cyrus doing things that are so... wrong. I'm not condemning, but with that being what girls are seeing, who they are looking up to, why is anyone shocked when a 14 year old says she's pregnant?

Girls, we have been just like the guys who, "have one thing on their mind." Do you see that? We've been giving in, saying sex is something meant to fill the void we have or just 'something to do'. The women in Hollywood... who can blame some of them for the way they live? Yes, they are held accountable, but we do what we're taught. What we know. Had I not grown up going to church, who knows (except for God) whether I would've gotten saved. It could've turned out very different. I thank God it didn't.

Last year.. whew! That year was filled with confusion, hatred, and a lot of other junk. I became very seductive towards the middle of the year. I was very manipulative. I learned that by my body and the way I look I could have the "power". I could make a guy 'want' me and just before he reached out to touch me, I could walk away. Easy, no pain, and it made me feel good knowing that I could make a guy want me.

I believed the lies. I believed my value came from my body. I believed these lies because I listened to the world. The church doesn't talk about it too much, and we go to wherever we can to get an opinion on something. I went to the world because that was the only place I had to go. We have got to get away from that! The world is doing nothing but dragging us down and away from the Lord.

Y'all, sex is meant for marriage, but it's not just something we do once we're married. It's not just "something to do" is what I'm trying to say. So many people have sex to satisfy the bodies cravings. Except it doesn't satisfy so they continue to find random people to have sex with thinking one day that void will be filled. It won't. Sex was meant to be the sharing of everything between a man and his wife. There is a word, Yada, that is defined as 'knew' in Hebrew and typically it was used when a man and his wife had sex. I'm re-reading Not A Fan (if you haven't read it, do it! You'll not regret it!) and this is totally something I learned from that book. God wants us to 'Yada' Him. Know Him deeply. Not just on the surface. He wants to go deep within us. So deep that we can't see where we begin and He ends. So deep that we don't just know about Him, but we know His heart, His likes, His dislikes, His desires, His love.

This past Monday I was crying out to God. I was begging Him to come do a work in me because I was just so discouraged and knew something was wrong. He began showing me where I had allowed chains to hold me down. Things I hadn't surrendered to Him and so I broke. Like, bawling like a baby, crying because of what I saw, broken. He began speaking to me- over me. Telling me of His love and His desires. He was telling me that He wanted me. That He wants me to know Him. That He wants so much more for our relationship than what we've had in the past. He wants it all. He is my Husband (Is. 54:5) and I am His bride.

You are His. Only His. Until He becomes your One and Only, you can't ever appreciate a love relationship with somebody else. You need Him before you need a man or a lady. Only He satisfies. Only He can take your broken heart and make it whole. He loves you. God is crazy about you! Stop running from Him. Stop. Running. Now. Let Him in. Let go of your past. Lay it at His feet. Let Him show you what true love is, so that one day when you are married, you and your future spouse will experience everything marriage was intended to be- more than sex. Have a blessed day! :)


"But I don't know who I am..."

I watched The Lion King yesterday. That was a good decision! :) Why? Well, I learned something pretty profound from this Disney movie. Now... it's share time!

So it's really easy to get lost in this world. Like really easy. Simba (the young lion in the movie) got lost too. He forgot who he was. He eventually said, "I don't know who I am..." so he was led to a stream where he looked in and saw his image. Afterwards, his father (who was killed) said something from above to him, "Simba, you have forgotten who are you are. You are my son. You are king. Remember who you are." Boom!

Don't you think God says the same thing to us? He is looking down at us, seeing how lost we are, heart-broken and saying, "You are Mine! Remember Me! Remember who you are. Remember Whose you are."

See, so many times the sins we are dealing with come not from an addiction problem or a lust problem, or whatever. They are identity problems. The struggles I face daily... there probably wouldn't be so many if I remembered who I am. Where and with whom my identity lies in. I've sat on the floor crying before, asking God what He wants me to do and I'd say, "But Daddy, I don't know who I am. I admit it. I'm lost. I have no clue who I'm supposed to be or where I'm supposed to go."

My identity. Your identity. They aren't so different at all. You and I are His child if you've accepted Jesus. He (God) is our Father. Being His child means we belong to Him. You are His. I am His. We do not belong in this world. Our identity does not come from this world no matter how messed up our thinking can get. It's your choice. You have the choice to accept God and accept your place and your true identity as His child. You also have the choice to refuse Him and keep on living a life you were never meant to live. Which are you going to choose? If you aren't sure whether you are God's child or not read John 1:9-13.

My whole week has been changed just from realizing the simple truth that I am the Lord's and He has a purpose for me on this earth as His child, not as the world's play thing. Nothing permanetly satisfies on this earth. I'm made happy for a little while and then the happiness fades and my heart ends up torn in two. Thank God for His salvation. I am freed from all of that! I am His. How that blesses my heart. <3


God knows!

"For I know the plans I have for you"- this is the Lord's declaration-"plans for your welfare, not for disaster, plans to give you a hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

I've been thinking about that verse a lot lately. Everybody who has been in church from any age has probably heard it over and over again, but we mainly focus on the 'God has a plan' part. I'm starting to focus on the 'God knows the plans He has for me' part.

Sometimes life can seem so uncertain. Sometimes I sit down and think, 'Where am I supposed to go from here? God, won't You show me? Won't You guide me? Why can't I see where I'm going?'

Just because I can't see my future, doesn't mean I don't have one. Just because you can't see your future, doesn't mean you don't have one. I believe we all were created for great things. We were created for God by God and live to glorify Him (whether you know that or not).

You know what I've realized? That, I don't have to know what God has in store for me at the end of this day, week, month, or year because God knows! He promises to take care of me. He promises to guide me into the path He has for me. I either trust Him, or I don't. I either believe Him or call Him a liar.

God is not confused or guessing what He wants to do with you now. His plans for you are not uncertain. He knows the potential you have, the desires, the talents you have, etc. and somehow, they all fit into His beautiful plan for your life. You have to trust that He will guide you. You must exercise your faith. We can rely on ourselves, but that's not relying on God or trusting Him.

You don't have to force things to happen to get where you want to be. Trust God! He knows the plans that He has for you and the future is not unknown to Him for He knows all.

Next time you're thinking about the future, don't just think, 'God has a plan for me.', but rather, 'God not only has a plan for me, but He knows it!'

Happy Friday!


I am beautiful because I AM is BEAUTIFUL...

Let's be real, alright? Cool.

Sometimes I feel like I never measure up.

Why? Because of this world. This crazy, stupid, beautiful, makes me sick at times, world.

Specifically, the standards of the world or the lack thereof.

I don't measure up because I'm not skinny or pretty or "perfect" enough. I have curves. I've been told my whole life that I should hate myself for having them because they just "don't hit in the right places" and secretly, for years, I have hated myself because of them.

Girls, you know what I'm talking about. The world tells us that if we don't look a certain way no guy will ever love us and we'll be alone forever. If a guy doesn't like you because of the way you look, he never deserved you in the first place.

I've tried countless diets to make myself look better in terms of what the world says is 'better'. We're made to feel like crap if we don't workout 5-6 times a week because how are you gonna get a six pack and not workout that much? 'You ate a piece of candy?! Oh goodness! You just ruined your life!' That's ridiculous!

Now, truthfully, I workout 6 times a week because my body is not my own, it's God's (1 Corinthians 6:20) and I want everything I do to glorify Him. I want it to be healthy. I mean if you give something to a friend to borrow, you'd want them to take care of it, right? In the same way, God wants us to take care of ourselves. However, I don't obsess over it. I used to. Oh, believe me, if you had asked me 2 or 3 years ago what was the center of my life and I answered you honestly, I would have said my body. I obsessed over what I ate, how many calories I consumed, how many more pounds I had to go before I achieved that "perfect" body. I was trying so hard to attain something I will never be able to attain. Ever.

The world tells you you'll be happy once you've lost 10 more pounds and fit 'just right' into a size 2. Hear me when I say this, the size on your pants tag will never make you happy. No amount of weight loss, no amount of money, no matter how stylish your clothes are or how cute your hair cut is will ever truly make you happy. It lasts for a moment, then it's gone and you're left feeling empty again.

Only Jesus Christ can truly make you happy. Only He can give you lasting happiness and joy. We are made in HIS image (Genesis 1:27).

I'm beginning to like the way I look, even love it. Wanna know why? Because I am realizing that the way I look is a reflection of my Father. That makes my heart smile just thinking about it. Every "flaw", every curve, every mis-placed freckle is a reflection of our Maker. Don't hate yourself. You and I are not defined by our outward appearance. Don't let the world tell you how you should look. You're beautiful because God Almighty made you and He is SO beautiful!

Let me ask you, do you look in the mirror more than you do in God's Word? Flip that! I'm challenging myself and you to spend more time in God's Word this week and less time focused on your outward appearance. Why? Because when we truly understand who we are in the Lord (who we are on the inside), it will radiate on the outside. You'll find your confidence in the Lord and on the days where you're feeling a little bit chunky and your hair is a wreck, you'll still be able to wear a genuine smile because you know God has made you in His image. Start praying Psalm 139. Doing just that one thing has changed my outlook a lot. I pray you see yourself through God's eyes. Love y'all! :)

"I praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful and I know this very well." -Psalm 139:14 HCSV


Broken at His feet

It's so easy.

Putting on that fake smile. Pretending it's "all good". Never admitting to struggles or problems.

That can describe me so much. Especially recently.

I've never liked asking for help. I've been raised by a momma (I thank God for her) who has had to deal with so much on her own that independence and the "no need for a man" attitude has been preached to me not only through her words, but her actions. That's both a good and bad thing.

It's good because I've learned how to be a woman who goes after what she wants. It's bad because I've learned to do things on my own, never asking for help, even when I need it most.

This weekend.. wrecked me. What was I doing you might ask? The same thing I do every weekend except this weekend I was more aware of God's voice.

I've been having so many issues recently. Struggling with so much. Yet, I pretended it was okay. "Out of sight, out of mind." was my motto. I pretended it was okay with God. I pretended I could hide from Him just like Adam & Eve though they couldn't hide. However, I learned the same thing they learned so many years ago, I cannot hide from God.

I was sitting in my room crying out to God and He basically said,

"My child, why are you bent on making everything look like it's okay when it is most certainly not? Why do you not want to be real with Me? Do you not trust Me? Have I done anything to make you think otherwise? Won't you trust Me? Won't you hand over your problems to Me? Won't you allow yourself to be broken at My feet?"

I was a mess after that because that touched my hard heart and softened it. Tears were streaming down my face. Thoughts occurred, 'How could I be so foolish? He's God! He knows all! He can change this. He can change me. But if I don't give in to Him, I cannot be touched; I cannot be changed. Oh, Lord, I'm so sorry.'

I forget so easily who I am in the Lord. My true identity. It seems like it would be something hard to forget, but the ways of the world can weigh so heavily on me and I believe the lies just like you.

I got back up. No. He picked me up. Out of my filth. Not just this weekend, but every single day. Jesus conquered the grave! He has given you and me more than just a second chance, He has given us second chances every single day. Not only that, He has given me a new life. A joyous life. A life that has rocky roads, bumpy rides, and heartbreaking losses, yet it's beautiful. This life is crazy beautiful. All because of Jesus! All He's asking is for you to say goodbye to your way of life, and say hello to His. God's way is far better and far greater than my own. I have to remind myself that every day.

Let go. Let go of everything you've been holding on to that has been holding you back. The weight is lifted as soon as you do. He is trustworthy. Allow yourself to be broken at His feet.

Have a blessed day! :)


So you wanna be a leader?

Y'all this has been on my heart for a couple days so I decided to blog about it today. The topic: leadership. Specifically, leadership in the body of Christ and the Church.

Too many times the "leaders" at church are anything but. I was talking with a friend the other day and she was telling me how she's tired of the people who are leaders in her youth group, not actually leading lives that are following Christ. My advice? You be the leader. Be the example.

I remember last year I was friends with some people who were considered leaders in the church. They were nice people. But did they glorify God? Did they deserve that place of leadership? Honestly, no. Not to judge, but I mean if we have a pastor who is claiming to follow Christ yet he never spends time with God, should he be a pastor? No. In the same way, someone who is going to be looked to as a leader, someone who is going to be seen as a person who can share godly advice and pray for you, yet they never have a personal quiet time with the Lord should not be a leader.

Don't get me wrong. I know we all have struggles and fail every day and I'm the first to admit I fail daily. However, we either take the title Christian seriously or we shouldn't take that title at all because God takes it very seriously.

Sometimes I just sit and wonder why people don't like Christians. Some people hate us because they hated Jesus (John 15:18). Some people hate what I call "church people"; hypocrites. We've all been one at some point in our lives. Those are the people who are up in church every Sunday and Wednesday and yet have no relationship with the Lord.

What can we do about all this though? I mean sure, we can tell the people who claim to be leaders to get out of that position and just be a 'regular joe', but then there is still an empty space where the world is begging, screaming for someone, anyone, to step up and let their voice be heard. To let their lives be lived fully. Who is gonna do that?

We are.

Yes, you and me. If you call yourself a Jesus-lover, follower of God, Christian, then you my friend, are the one who needs to step up.

We need to stop sitting on our butts expecting God to do something big in our lives when we're not doing our part. It's called a relationship! Relationship's require work on both parts, not just one.

Don't let satan lie to you and tell you no one is watching you or no one will listen to you. Umm, why do you think he is doing that? Because he knows that Christ in you is so powerful that people who normally wouldn't listen to you, will!! Satan is afraid of what God can do through you when you obey and rise up!

Walk in His purpose for you today. Don't be afraid to speak up when He's laid something on your heart to speak. He is with you. If He spoke it to you, He will speak it through you. No worries. :)

"The LORD is the One who will go before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid or discouraged.”- Deuteronomy 31:8


Valentine's Perspective

Happy Valentine's day loves!!

So, as a single girl (holla!) this day can be hard on us. Probably for single guys too, but I'm talking to the ladies right now. ;) It all depends on your perspective. Hear me out for a minute...

If you're single and you hate being single and you tell God you want a boyfriend (or girlfriend for the guys haha!) then, you're not finding contentment in Him. Believe me, all I wanted was someone to hold me and it turned out it wasn't everything I thought it would be. It didn't satisfy me. I want love and satisfaction. Not one or the other.

It's sad to me that everyone finds their identity in whether they are 'single' or 'taken'. From the time us girls are knee high everybody starts talking about, "When you get married...". How are we not to put our focus on dating and marriage when you're preached that at such a young age?

We must change our focus and view(s) in life from marriage focused to God focused.

Only when we are fully focused on Him can we begin to truly be ready to share our heart with another. So if you change your perspective from, 'I'm so alone, no one is ever gonna love me, blah blah..' to, 'I have Jesus. He loves me more than anybody and has and always will be there for me.' You're not only gonna feel good on Valentine's day, but every day after. Though, you will have "lonely days", you will see the bigger picture- that God is preparing you for someone and you are where you are right now for a reason and a purpose. He's got it planned. Don't dwell on your loneliness. Move forward and dwell on His love for you and how you can share that love to other people.

Enjoy your day! Eat some chocolate ;) and share a little love with someone! :)

"I am my Beloved's, and my Beloved is mine." - Song of Solomon 6:3


Faithful Father

When my parents divorced, You were there to tell me that even if my earthly father is not there, You are.

When I was angry at the world and thought nobody would ever love me, You were there to tell me over and over again, "I love you."

When I thought I was the fattest, ugliest being on the earth, You were there to whisper love and truth into my ear.

When I gave myself away to someone who never deserved my heart, You were there to pick up the broken pieces and make them whole again.

When I fail You, and fall on a daily basis, You are here to pick me up, dust me off, and carry me through it all.

You are mine forever. Never failing, always faithful. You are my faithful Father. Thank You for always being the same and never leaving.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." - Hebrews 13:8

"I am the Alpha and the Omega,”says the Lord God, “the One who is, who was, and who is coming, the Almighty.” - Revelation 1:8


Let's just love!

Hey guys!! So I know it's been a while since I've blogged and that's only because I've been sick this past week. Thankfully I am finally getting better. :)

So, having nothing to do I've been sitting around thinking a lot. I've been thinking about how we as Christians should love each other. How we should love God.

A friend of mine said something that's pretty simple but totally profound. She said we'd be a lot better off if we forgot the phrase, "Hate the sin, love the sinner." and simply loved. I agree.

I was thinking about it. I know we are to love God above everything else and love each other as we love ourselves, but sometimes we get so focused on the sin in someones life that we don't even focus on the person.

I was watching the news a couple days ago and saw where a boy was beaten up because he's gay. How messed up is that?! Because he's gay???! I don't understand how we can rank people's sins when in God's eyes, sin is sin.

Our problem is, we don't love people like God does and truthfully, we don't even try. We love conditionally. Where as God loves unconditionally. Apart from God we can't truly love. With God, as we grow in Him and love Him more, His love will become our love and we will learn to love others like He does- unconditionally.

I want to love the broken, "unlovable" people. I want to be able to love someone so radically and so unconditionally and that they know it can only be the God in me.

Recently, a friend of mine said she knows someone who has basically told everyone in their life that if they didn't know Jesus then he didn't want to talk to them. This type of thinking breaks my heart. I remember a few years back a man was giving a devotional on the radio where he used a verse in Scripture and basically said that meant we didn't need to even converse with people who are "sinners". Um hello?! I am a sinner! I'm saved by God's grace, but take His grace away and I'm still a sinner. I fall short EVERY day. How can anybody think that they don't?

We must be careful not to fall into a sin with somebody because the saying is true, you can't pull another up, but they can bring you down. However, we must also be careful to not neglect sharing Jesus with everyone we come in contact with because personally, I don't want anyone to suffer in Hell forever. Is that just me? I hope not.

My challenge to myself and to you is to stop looking at people's sin. Stop looking at them and yourself and judging who is "holier" than who. Let's just love. Radical, ferocious, doesn't make sense, unconditional, love. Love like Jesus. Truly. Jesus' love changes people. It changed me. He continues to change me every day. We can't do it by ourselves. We can only love in and through Him because, after all, He is LOVE. His love makes it worth it all. Happy Sunday!


A prayer for today...

I thank you for raising up a generation who is tired of being content with the things of this world.
A group of people who refuses to live their lives for the fleeting pleasures of going out and partying and getting drunk and having sex with people they barely know.

Father, I pray you open the eyes of people who do not know You. That we who are followers of You will be a Light to the people who aren't. I pray we will not be afraid to step out and share You with people no matter what the cost.

I pray that we won't live comfortable lives, Daddy. It's easy to be content with life just because we're saved, but our lives are meant to be so much more than that. I pray we will step out of our comfort zones and let our faith be exercised daily.

God, I pray that the person who reads this will come to know Your overwhelming love and peace each day for the rest of their lives. I pray that he or she will see that they are created in Your image and they are beautiful. May the see their worth in Your eyes and not this world's.

Lord, I pray we won't settle for a life of worthlessness. The world has nothing to offer. May we see You offer us all we need and that You are enough. Despite what other people may think or say I pray we will be bold in our walks with You and not be afraid to tell the world we serve You, the Almighty God.

Protect us, Father. Let Your hand be upon their life and may they walk boldly knowing that death cannot touch them. That though, they will one day die here on this earth, Heaven will be open and life will be theirs forever all because of Your Son, Jesus.

Thank You, God. Thank You that You have saved us and that You are now equipping us to help bring others to You. Let Your hand move in our lives as well as the lives of the people we encounter each day. We love you.

Breath of Angel {Book Review}

I got this book because I thought the cover looked cool, but I had no idea it was going to be as good as it was.

It's a story about a girl who must find out who she really is and fulfill her destiny. This book is excellent. Well written, very suspenseful, and the characters will make you fall in love with them. :)

At first I thought the book was a little odd but the more I read, the more I enjoyed it. I would say if you're into fictional, adventures, intriguing books, you'll love this one!

Karyn Henly has a true treasure with this book. I definitely recommend you read it.

Note: This book was given to me for free by WaterBrook Publishing company for reviewing purposes.


Mistakes will be made

You want to know what ticks me off? When someone falls and then everyone stands in judgement.

What brought this to mind? Glad you asked! Josh Hamilton did. If you don't watch ESPN all the time or check out the latest news in sports you probably haven't heard. I'll catch you up real quick. Josh is a recovering alcoholic and drug abuser. He went out. He had a few drinks. He relapsed (not even sure that's the right word for it). Now everyone is giving him a really hard time.

My main irritation is that he fell, and people are hating on him for it. Like their perfect? No. None of us are. I'm in no position to judge. I've had many struggles with something that has addicted me. Chances are you probably did too. Maybe still do.

The saddest and most angering thing I saw was when I went to read a couple articles online (gather the facts before you start spreading rumors) I read a few comments from people who said that they had had problems with alcohol before and that he shouldn't be put on the front page so he can whine about it while he's making millions. Um, hello? If you haven't learned that money doesn't satisfy you, I hope you learn it soon. Because money definitely does not satisfy, nor does it take care of any emotional problems. It only covers it up. Just like beer, sex, fame, drugs, food, etc. does. Sin only covers up the problems, never solves them.

We all fall.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." - Romans 3:23

All means all. You, me, your cousin, your mom, your next door neighbor, and any public figure you can think of. Every single person. Some people know that they fall while others pretend like they don't and stand in judgement of those who do. Jesus has every right to do that to us. He never sinned and yet He took our punishment, yet He doesn't do that. He doesn't stand in judgement of us (though one day judgment will come, but that's a topic for a different day), shaking His head, and thinking of us as dirt. No, He gives us a second chance. He gives us more than a second chance. He gives us life.

So why do we stand in judgement of people who have struggles? If Church is the place I need to go to when I've got it all figured out, I will never be able to go there. I will never have it all figured out. But I don't have to because my God holds the entire universe in His hands. He knows. He has it all figured out. That's really all I need to know. I trust Him.

We were all made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). Famous or not. Black or white or hispanic. Young or old. Male or female. Each and every one of us is created in His image. We hate each other. We judge each other. We make fun of each other. Will we ever realize that we might be making fun of the God who made them? The God who loves them?

One mistake does not define you. Personally, I applaud Josh Hamilton for sharing with us his struggles. That's real. Some Christians would do well to take note of that. We're not perfect and if you're striving to be, you might be striving for the wrong thing. I can't make myself perfect. I just follow Christ and ask Him to make me more like Himself. I can't do that. You must accept the fact that you can't do that, either. Stop judging others and yourself for the mistakes you've made. We will all fall. Learn to take the Father's hand and stop fighting it. Stop pushing Him away. Let Him help you. Let Him hold you. Then, go and share that with someone else who thinks that they've messed up too much. Have a blessed weekend! :)


Know Him!

I'm done with fleeting emotions, circumstance based, off and on again religion.

I'm coming back to my First Love. I'm in love with Jesus. This love is so crazy, but in the best way possible and it might not make sense to some people, but those who truly experience it understand it.

I am an upside down jar for the Kingdom of God. I've been praying far too long to receive when I should be praying to give. All this stuff I have doesn't compare to Jesus. I'd give it all up in a heartbeat to keep my Savior. In fact, I do give it up. It means nothing. Here today, gone tomorrow. But my God, He is here forever.

If we really knew the Lord we wouldn't go venturing back to sin and things of this world. That's the problem. We don't really know Him. We claim to, but we honestly don't. If we really knew His love for us, the life He has for us... why would we ever choose anything else? Anyone else?

I'm done with pretending to not care. The fact is, if God wanted us to not care, we'd have no emotions. We must choose carefully what we care about.
Jesus over the world. Souls over personal opinions. Etc.
I choose to care. I cannot with hold Jesus from people. Even if I try and shut my mouth, what He's doing in me just comes spilling out.

I choose to live a life of surrender because when I hold tightly to this world all I get is pushed down. With Jesus, the weight is lifted. The hurt, the pain deep within, is healed. The tears that come every night aren't flowing anymore from personal issues, but from the pain of seeing so many people without Him. Problems still come, but now I have One who gives me lasting solutions to those problems.

He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. HE LOVES YOU! I want you to know that. Forget my name, forget who I am, forget all that. If the only thing you know if Jesus, you're good in life. And I don't mean; church on Sunday & Wednesday, read the latest in Christian theology, say a bedtime prayer "know". I mean sitting in your Daddy's lap and loving on Him as He loves on you. Reading His Word not because it's the "Christian thing" to do, but because you truly love Him and want to know Him; His heart, His likes, His dislikes, His desires and so forth. Know Him like you would your best friend- except even more than that!

You are more than you know. God calls you His Son or His daughter. Accept that title. Claim it. Live your life as His. Fully, completely, totally His. Happy Friday!! Stay blessed! :)

"I will lead the blind by a way they did not know;
I will guide them on paths they have not known.
I will turn darkness to light in front of them
and rough places into level ground.
This is what I will do for them,
and I will not forsake them." - Isaiah 42:16


Sorry I'm Not Sorry...

I love it when I'm struggling with something and God hits me hard with something right when I need it. He did that yesterday.

I was reading a devotional and this quote was in it from Oswald Chambers,

"We have the idea nowadays that God is so loving and gentle and kind that all we need to do is say we feel really sorry for the wrong we have done and we will try and be better. That is not repentance. The essence of repentance is that it destroys the lust of self-vindication; wherever that lust resides the repentance is not true. Repentance brings us to the place where we are willing to receive any punishment under heaven so long as the law we have broken is justified. Repentance involves the receiving of a totally new disposition so that I never do the wrong thing again."

Boom! If we tell God we're sorry and then go back and do the same sin again, that's not repentance.

That's something I've really been struggling with. Basically I've been telling God, "Sorry I'm not sorry." I'll ask forgiveness for something I did, then a little while later go and do the same thing again. My mind must be renewed and my heart must be set on Him. He must truly be the center of my life. What I must realize and what we all must realize is yes, God will forgive us, yes, He still loves us, but His Word says that if we truly love Him, our actions will show it. We will stumble and fall, but we will get back up and do our very best to not sin against Him.

Actions speak louder than words. You can say you love Jesus all day long. People might not think too much of it. Show you love Jesus and people will start to notice.

"Go and sin no more." - Jesus

Go and sin no more. Give Him all you've got. Jesus gave all of Himself to us. Will we do the same for Him? God loves you. His love does not depend on what you do. He can be nothing more or less than who He already is which means, He does not change. He will always desire you. He will always want you. But when you're dead it's too late for you to desire Him. Get yourself right now. Tomorrow is never promised.

Stay blessed! :)


Got it all together? Nope!

Hey guys! Happy February! I'm gonna share some stuff that's been on my heart lately. Forgive me if it's kind of all jumbled together. ;)

How hard it is to attain "perfect".

For so long perfect was what I strived for. Today, I still struggle with being "perfect".

Let me just tell you, I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world. I'm completely okay with that. My identity is found in Christ, not my appearance.

I used to be so concerned with how I looked. Thinking that if I didn't have the perfect body, hair, makeup, etc. no guy would look my way. Turns out, when you walk by, some guy will turn his head simply because you're a female. That's just the truth.

Yeah, I got past the appearance problem. You know what came after that? Thinking that as a Christian I need to be perfect and have no struggles or problems because if I do that means I must be doing something wrong. Complete. Lie.

It's sad that so many Christians (myself included) have spent so much time trying to look perfect. As if perfect was something we're meant to attain. Maybe we've been serving 'perfect' and not God. Maybe we've been bowing down to the god of perfect and not the God of peace, love, joy, etc.

I want to be able to sit down with my brothers and sisters and be like, 'okay, here's what I'm struggleing with...' Instead of being afraid to say I've been having problems with lust, hate, loneliness, etc.

The problem, I believe, comes from thinking that if we're perfect God will love us more. News flash! God cannot love you any more or any less than He already does! Yeah, go ahead and read that again.

Ephesians 2:8-9 says, "For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift- not from works so that no one can boast."

We are saved by grace, God's grace. Through faith. Nothing else. Not our works. Not by how perfect our lives may appear.

So, let's say you do pretend you've got it all together and stuff, and everybody thinks that, but only you and God know that's not true... what good does it do? It's not like any problems go away. They just get shoved away when you're around people.

My point is, we need each other. We need God and His grace and we need lovers of Him to pray for us, talk to us, listen to us, pray with us. But if you're not real with people and are just putting on a facade, no one can share their wisdom through a situation that you're going through right now.

Let's stop faking it. Let's be real. If you struggle with something, stop trying to cover it up or fix it yourself. You need to only be quiet and let God move. We can't get through a struggle by our own power. We must realize this. Only through God can we conquer anything.

"The Lord will fight for you; you must be quiet." - Exodus 14:14

Today, if you have a struggle, don't try and shove it down and forget it ever happened. Go to God. He knows you're struggleing already. Ask for help. Then, talk to somebody. Get them to pray with you.

I don't have it all together. Every single day I fall. God picks me up. Thank You, Jesus! I'm NOT perfect. Simply forgiven. Stay blessed y'all! :)