2.20.2012

Broken at His feet

It's so easy.

Putting on that fake smile. Pretending it's "all good". Never admitting to struggles or problems.

That can describe me so much. Especially recently.

I've never liked asking for help. I've been raised by a momma (I thank God for her) who has had to deal with so much on her own that independence and the "no need for a man" attitude has been preached to me not only through her words, but her actions. That's both a good and bad thing.

It's good because I've learned how to be a woman who goes after what she wants. It's bad because I've learned to do things on my own, never asking for help, even when I need it most.

This weekend.. wrecked me. What was I doing you might ask? The same thing I do every weekend except this weekend I was more aware of God's voice.

I've been having so many issues recently. Struggling with so much. Yet, I pretended it was okay. "Out of sight, out of mind." was my motto. I pretended it was okay with God. I pretended I could hide from Him just like Adam & Eve though they couldn't hide. However, I learned the same thing they learned so many years ago, I cannot hide from God.

I was sitting in my room crying out to God and He basically said,

"My child, why are you bent on making everything look like it's okay when it is most certainly not? Why do you not want to be real with Me? Do you not trust Me? Have I done anything to make you think otherwise? Won't you trust Me? Won't you hand over your problems to Me? Won't you allow yourself to be broken at My feet?"

I was a mess after that because that touched my hard heart and softened it. Tears were streaming down my face. Thoughts occurred, 'How could I be so foolish? He's God! He knows all! He can change this. He can change me. But if I don't give in to Him, I cannot be touched; I cannot be changed. Oh, Lord, I'm so sorry.'

I forget so easily who I am in the Lord. My true identity. It seems like it would be something hard to forget, but the ways of the world can weigh so heavily on me and I believe the lies just like you.

I got back up. No. He picked me up. Out of my filth. Not just this weekend, but every single day. Jesus conquered the grave! He has given you and me more than just a second chance, He has given us second chances every single day. Not only that, He has given me a new life. A joyous life. A life that has rocky roads, bumpy rides, and heartbreaking losses, yet it's beautiful. This life is crazy beautiful. All because of Jesus! All He's asking is for you to say goodbye to your way of life, and say hello to His. God's way is far better and far greater than my own. I have to remind myself that every day.

Let go. Let go of everything you've been holding on to that has been holding you back. The weight is lifted as soon as you do. He is trustworthy. Allow yourself to be broken at His feet.

Have a blessed day! :)

2 comments:

  1. I miss your face at church! But love how God is changing you! Isn't it amazing, how when we let go, and just let it all out and get real... He comes in and does so much? Why does it take us so long to allow Him. Good read sweet one!

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    Replies
    1. I miss you too!! Yes, it is so amazing how when we just allow ourselves to be real with the Lord, He takes all of that and turns it out for our good. :) Love you!!

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