This week has been so crazy. In a good way, but crazy nonetheless. God is moving so strongly in my life right now and I love it!
I've been thinking... a lot. Deeply and about so many things. I don't even know where to start so bear with me. :)
So I've been thinking a lot about sex. Now don't go spewing coffee on your computer or thinking, "Well, that's definitely a sin." because I don't mean like that. I've been thinking about how God intended sex to be and how today, we don't use it for His purposes. Allow me to explain.
I've believed the lies. The lies that your self value as a female comes from how many guys ask you out in a week or how many dudes heads turn as you pass by. I didn't have a father there to tell me how to decipher the jerks from the good guys, and every guy I've given a chance has taken advantage of it and proven they are just like all the others.
I've learned my value doesn't come from my outward appearance or how many guys like it. 'Cause truly, dudes who call you "hot" only want what they see. It's not "love at first sight" it's lust at first sight! I've also learned not all guys are jerks. Oh girl, your jaw just dropped didn't it? It's true. Not all guys are jerks. There are quite a few, but not all of them are like everybody else.
I've been raised with a lot negative thoughts towards men. I mean, my dad left me, all the guys I've known have made that saying, 'They only have one thing on their mind' true. What was I supposed to think? Then, I met some solid Christian guys. Not guys I'm interested in, just guys who are great friends and truly love the Lord.
See girls, all guys are not the same. It's just we've been around the wrong guys. The guys who say they love Jesus, but don't. Or the guys who say they want only you, but are with a different girl every other night. But men who are truly Jesus loving, godly, pure men... those guys are different.
To the guys, I'm sorry us girls have treated you like every other guy. Continue being an example to the boys who haven't yet matured enough to see that women are more than play-things. Be patient with us girls who haven't had the privilege of being around godly men. We're not used to it. It's a process.
Now, with that being said... girls I really need to talk with you about something I struggle with daily and I'm sure you probably do too.
We are to be godly, pure, ladies. Do people know what ladies are anymore? Sometimes I don't think they do. I mean, I look around and see Nicki Minaj, Brittney Spears, and Miley Cyrus doing things that are so... wrong. I'm not condemning, but with that being what girls are seeing, who they are looking up to, why is anyone shocked when a 14 year old says she's pregnant?
Girls, we have been just like the guys who, "have one thing on their mind." Do you see that? We've been giving in, saying sex is something meant to fill the void we have or just 'something to do'. The women in Hollywood... who can blame some of them for the way they live? Yes, they are held accountable, but we do what we're taught. What we know. Had I not grown up going to church, who knows (except for God) whether I would've gotten saved. It could've turned out very different. I thank God it didn't.
Last year.. whew! That year was filled with confusion, hatred, and a lot of other junk. I became very seductive towards the middle of the year. I was very manipulative. I learned that by my body and the way I look I could have the "power". I could make a guy 'want' me and just before he reached out to touch me, I could walk away. Easy, no pain, and it made me feel good knowing that I could make a guy want me.
I believed the lies. I believed my value came from my body. I believed these lies because I listened to the world. The church doesn't talk about it too much, and we go to wherever we can to get an opinion on something. I went to the world because that was the only place I had to go. We have got to get away from that! The world is doing nothing but dragging us down and away from the Lord.
Y'all, sex is meant for marriage, but it's not just something we do once we're married. It's not just "something to do" is what I'm trying to say. So many people have sex to satisfy the bodies cravings. Except it doesn't satisfy so they continue to find random people to have sex with thinking one day that void will be filled. It won't. Sex was meant to be the sharing of everything between a man and his wife. There is a word, Yada, that is defined as 'knew' in Hebrew and typically it was used when a man and his wife had sex. I'm re-reading Not A Fan (if you haven't read it, do it! You'll not regret it!) and this is totally something I learned from that book. God wants us to 'Yada' Him. Know Him deeply. Not just on the surface. He wants to go deep within us. So deep that we can't see where we begin and He ends. So deep that we don't just know about Him, but we know His heart, His likes, His dislikes, His desires, His love.
This past Monday I was crying out to God. I was begging Him to come do a work in me because I was just so discouraged and knew something was wrong. He began showing me where I had allowed chains to hold me down. Things I hadn't surrendered to Him and so I broke. Like, bawling like a baby, crying because of what I saw, broken. He began speaking to me- over me. Telling me of His love and His desires. He was telling me that He wanted me. That He wants me to know Him. That He wants so much more for our relationship than what we've had in the past. He wants it all. He is my Husband (Is. 54:5) and I am His bride.
You are His. Only His. Until He becomes your One and Only, you can't ever appreciate a love relationship with somebody else. You need Him before you need a man or a lady. Only He satisfies. Only He can take your broken heart and make it whole. He loves you. God is crazy about you! Stop running from Him. Stop. Running. Now. Let Him in. Let go of your past. Lay it at His feet. Let Him show you what true love is, so that one day when you are married, you and your future spouse will experience everything marriage was intended to be- more than sex. Have a blessed day! :)