3.31.2012

Take Your Delight...

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4

I've read that verse many times. I've thought about it a lot. Funny how after 3 years of using that verse as a life verse of sorts, I've been completely wrong in my thinking towards it.

To me, that verse was always about me. Not Him.

I thought that if I would just serve God enough then that thing I'd been wanting would happen. I had no earthly clue what truly delighting myself in Him looked like. He's slowly pointing me in the right direction now.

Let me ask you a question, what do you find delight in? What is something that no matter how bad your day is, gives you joy? Would you say that God is the One you take delight in no matter what the situation you find yourself in?

My honest answer is no. I've taken delight in so many things, but not really Him. I've taken delight in my appearance (good hair day, nice makeup, cute clothes... you get the picture), music, food, people, material things... and all these things in and of themselves are not bad, but when I'm finding delight and joy and satisfaction in them and not thanking God and praising Him because He made all these things, I'm bowing down to idols and not the Lord.

"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served something created instead of the Creator, who is praised forever. Amen." - Romans 1:25

"They worshiping and served something created instead of the Creator..." how many times have you been there before? I've been there many times unfortunately. I've bowed down to all the things that He made! Seriously, think about this, you're idolizing and worshiping something created (not that big or great) as opposed to worshiping and serving the Lord who made ALL those things (The Great I Am)!! We are so messed up. Thankfully, He sees the good in us that we can't see and values us those we don't value Him. What a faithful God we serve.

I've been asking the Lord to show me the idols in my life. He is doing just that every day. I've seen so many things that I didn't even realize I was placing before Him, so many things that I thought I was thanking Him for, but wasn't.

My prayer for myself and for you is that we will take time to seek the One and Only. To find all our satisfaction and delight in Him because until that happens, we're still not fully seeking the Lord. I read a quote the other day (I have no clue who said it haha!) that said something like this, "If we can't be satisfied and content in God on earth, how are we going to spend an eternity with Him?" That's a really good way of thinking about it. I pray you find delight and satisfaction in our Lord. Have a blessed weekend!

3.29.2012

Fill Me Up

God has been flipping my world upside down lately... and it's been exactly what I've needed.

Do you ever get time to just stop and enjoy God? I don't mean going to church every week or your daily quiet time. I mean breaking out of routine and the busy to-do list's and letting it all fall to the ground as you spend on purpose time with the Lord?

In a world of Twitter, Facebook, email, texting, Pinterest, etc, it can be really difficult to find that time to just slow down and enjoy the love and grace and glory of God.

I've been attempting to focus more on the Lord these past few weeks and really let go of all these personal appearances I feel like I have to keep up. Examples: 'If I don't post a blog today will people stop reading?', 'If I don't get on Facebook will so-and-so get mad because I didn't respond to their message?', 'I've lost 10 followers since I took a break from Twitter.. if I don't get on and tweet something will they all leave?' and so forth. God really broke me a few days ago because I realized the one thing all those thoughts had in common- me.

Am I selfish? Yes. Very much so and God is changing that in me daily.  One of the greatest things God has taught me and reminded me of over and over again (aside from His love for me and His faithfulness) is that it's not about me. Let me say that again, it's NOT about me.That goes against everything I've ever known or been taught. We live in a world where everything is about me, myself, and I. But when we choose to follow the Lord we give up our right to our self and the "it's all about me" attitude so that it can be replaced with Him.

For so long one of my greatest fears has been that God will take away a sin or distraction in my life and never replace it with anything. I know, so dumb. But that's been a fear for me for a while. It's why I've been reluctant to give over certain things to Him. The awesome thing about our great and patient God is that He doesn't let go or give up. He keeps pressing and pursuing. Not forcing (though sometimes I really wish He'd force me to follow His will because in the end His way is always better than my own).

God has spoke one thing to me over and over these past couple weeks. What is it?

"Let Me be the center."

Simple statement, but so powerful! The idols in my life, the gods I've allowed through, He wants to take those away and replace them... with what? Himself. Boom! I've been so afraid to let Him truly be the center of my life by letting go of every single thing because I thought there would forever remain a hole in my heart and life where that thing used to belong, but it turns out that He never leaves us empty and that thing I thought belonged never really fit. He fills us up. He replaces everything in our lives with Himself. How truly awesome is that?!

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." - Psalm 23:5

My cup overflows... why? Because God replaces everything in our lives that we give up to Him with Himself and truly only in Him can we overflow with nothing more or less than Himself.

Let God be your center. Let go. Let go. Let go. I have to hear that in my head a million times a day because if I don't, I'll hold on. God knows me better than I know myself. He knows that I can be really hard-headed and refuse to listen, so He reminds not only of His faithfulness, but of my weaknesses. He reminds me that on my own all things are definitely not possible, but in Him ALL things are possible. All means all. Don't you want the impossible? I sure do which is why I let go every hour of every day, to let God do what He will and that is fill me up with Himself! Have a blessed Thursday! :)

3.27.2012

A Letter To: the sexually assaulted

Tonight I cried for you.

Not just a simple tear from my eye, but deep, soulful sobs.

I saw what you must go through everyday. I saw how he beats you and forces you to do things you don't want to. I saw how you feel worthless because nobody wanted you. I saw how painful it must've been to have your parents sell you. To sell you?!! They must be crazy.. probably beyond, because they can't see how precious you are. I saw how you placed drugs in your viens because you don't see any worth in your life. Yep, I saw it all.

I thought for a long while. I thought about how I take food and water forgranted. I thought about how blessed I am to not be the in place you are, and then I thought about how I could help. I feel hope for you, though I don't know what the Lord has planned in this yet. My hope is in Him because I know He will get you through this.

I'm praying for you. I don't know your name, I haven't seen your face, but you are a beautiful child of God. Never forget that! You are worth more. Period. I could type out all the reasons why you're worth more and what you're worth more for, but I think you should just remember you are worth something.

I know you probably won't believe me, but that's okay because God will work in you and take care of that, but you have got to let Him. The Father sees you as worthy and beautiful and precious in His sight, so much so that He had His Son die for you on a Cross. He sees your pain just like He saw Jesus' pain and He'll help you through and rise you up, just like He rose up our Savior.

I hope that you read this somehow. I hope you feel hope. I hope it makes a difference because your life makes a difference and until you realize your potential in the Lord you'll never reach your destiny and the life you were meant to live.

I love you, dear sister. Oh, I love you so much! I wish I could take away every pain you've felt because of the violations your body has experienced, but I can't. God, however, can heal the hurt and the pain. It might seem impossible, because for you my dear, it is. But not for God (Luke 1:37). :) God does the impossible every day! Let go. I know it's hard, but let go. Hand it over to Him. Let forgiveness sweep over you and then extend that forgiveness back. The process will be slow and painful, but not as painful as anything you'll go through without the Lord. Be blessed, child of God!

Go to www.theA21campaign.com to see how you can help stop human trafficking. Together, in the Lord, we will make a difference!

3.26.2012

What Motivates You?

Hey guys! So this past weekend was so amazing! I've started giving God a day of the week with no Twitter or Facebook or email or Pinterest or anything. I chose Sunday's because it's the day that is usually most chill.

Soo.. I love how God brings confirmation to things that He's teaching us. Makes my heart skip a beat. ^_^

Let me ask you a question, what's your motivation?

Seriously think about it. What gets you out of bed each day? What keeps you going when everything is tough?

Can I be real? My motivation for many years has been... myself.

So I started this thing on settingcaptivesfree.com called 'The Lord's Table'. As many of you know I've battled with over-eating for most of my life. My motivation for the past few months to lose weight was to make myself look good, to hear the compliments people would say once I'd lost the weight, etc. My motivation was not glorifying God by getting rid of my idolatry to food. Any motivation other than bringing glory to the Father is wrong motivation.

Saturday was Day 1 where the main focus on the course was getting your motivation right.

Yesterday I woke up and was walking through my kitchen (rushing to get ready for church) and heard Charles Stanley talking about how if our motivation is not to please the Father and ultimately give Him glory then our motivation is incorrect. Boom! Love how the Lord works! <3

A few hours later, my pastor said some of the same things. No, I don't believe in coincidences. Yes, I believe it was all the Lord and yes I smiled and probably laughed to myself a bit that God would tell me the same thing again just to remind me and really drive home my whole purpose on this earth.

"Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for God's glory." - 1 Corinthians 10:31

This week, make a conscious decision to focus everything you do to God's glory. It's not easy. Definitely not. It's hard to change your thinking from self to the Lord, but thankfully we don't have to go it alone. Our God is with us. He will help you. Trust Him. I'm standing with you. If you're willing to accept the challenge please leave a comment below so I can be praying for you! Happy Monday!

3.23.2012

"I praise You..."

Everybody needs a reminder of God's love for them so today I've posted the video below from Wonderfully Made's blog. If you have some time today definitely read Psalm 139. Don't rush through it, or do it to "just get it over with", take some time to really soak it in. I'll be doing the same! Have a blessed Friday! ^_^






3.20.2012

I choose to jump

I am standing on the edge of a cliff.

I have two choices; I can either turn back, run away from fear and everything that's unknown or I can jump into the unknown... scared.. and trust that something good will happen soon enough.

I choose to jump.

I choose to let go of the things that I've known for years and years that have never been more than mere distractions from my Savior.

I choose to fall into the arms of my Savior because I know once I reach Him, He'll never let me go.

It's scary to say goodbye to your old life, your old self. Who you used to be can sometimes be your biggest enemy. You remember all the times you had fun and think it'd be cool if you went back to the way you were. Sometimes I miss the people from my old life, but what I see is that I'm remembering the good times and not the bad. Remind yourself that when you start slipping.

That cliff is well worth the jump because God is waiting for you. To turn around and leave as soon you got there isn't worth it all.

You have a choice. You can be scared, because it's okay to be scared. Jesus is for us, not against. He will walk with you through every scary, exhausting, trial you'll experience. We don't have to hide or pretend it's not hard. God knows. As I read in a blog post today, "He is the invisible God who sees our invisible struggles." (You can read the rest here) The things that people might look at you and not see what you're dealing with God knows. He knows each and every one of them and will lead you out. We've got to trust Him.

What's it gonna be? Are you gonna let go today and jump into the oceans of His love and mercy and grace? Or are you going to decide that's it's just too hard to say goodbye to the "fun" sins and die to yourself so you can truly live in Christ and instead choose to hold onto sin until you die? You'll have to make a choice. I pray you choose the Lord because He already chose you. :) Happy Tuesday!

3.19.2012

Don't go back!

"You'll never change."

"Ha! You?! You could never change. You'll be right back to your old ways soon enough."

The statements above might mean something to you. They might mean nothing. These are just a couple of the statements you get when you attempt to change. Specifically speaking, when you come to know Christ.

I was thinking the other night of how many times I or someone I know changed (by God's hand) and then people continued to bring up your past. Saying you're a new person only meant that those words would get harsher and the blows would hurt even more.

After thinking about it for a long while God showed me a few points that I think will be helpful to anyone who is changing daily for the better, and is dealing with sceptics all around. Don't go back to who you were. So.. here you go...

1. Stand firm. It's easy to let satan get into your head and start telling you about how you'll never truly change and might as well go back to your old ways. Don't! Don't listen to him. When those thoughts creep in, start praying. Start worshiping and praising God. Go read His Word, or journal, or take a walk, whatever will give you time to listen to the Lord, go do it. Stand firm in Christ and let Him lead you.

2. Gently and respectfully tell them the truth. Let your friends and family know that God has forgiven you and because of Him, you have forgiven yourself too and accepted the new life that we can have in Jesus. Let them know that you won't be perfect, and will fall daily, but you are living a new life and it would be awesome if they would stop bringing up your past. Do remember to do this gently and respectfully because if you stand there and yell at them you're only going to prove their point a little.

3. Get around some godly, Jesus-loving people. This is sooo important! If you don't get around some people who love Jesus like you do and push you towards Him, you're going to fall flat on your face. We can't live this life alone. Not by ourselves (meaning, without Christ) and not without some help (meaning with Christ and the people He places in our lives). Pray that God will bring you some people that you can be real with, share your struggles and triumphs with, and hold you accountable in your relationship with the Lord.

4. Be patient and keep being an example. Your actions will show them what you are about. If your life says something completely different from what you're saying, no one is going to take the change you've said you experienced seriously. Let the Lord guide you and keep living your life to please Him. Other people will come around soon enough and even if they don't, God knows our hearts, so He knows if you're a true follower of Him or just a fake.

Happy Monday, loves!

3.16.2012

I can't do this...

I can't do this.

I can't.

No, I'm not talking down on myself. I'm telling the truth. This is too big for me. Too great. I don't have the strength nor the power to overcome this.

What am I talking about? Sin. Why do people think following Jesus equals perfection? Because if we're honest with ourselves, we know we will never be without sin. Ever. Period.

Jesus made the bridge for us to be able to come to God in our filth and brokenness and ask Him to take us and make us more like Him. Why do we think God hates us? He doesn't hate us, He hates sin. Any Righteous Judge would. He is the righteous Judge.

I'm tired of the lies.

Lies from people, lies from satan, lies from pastors who are convinced they are the only 'true ones' who know the Bible.

This season in my life is somewhat dry. I feel helpless, tired, like I can do nothing about it and just to top it off, I'm told there is nothing I can do about. Now, I really am hopeless.

Then, in steps Jesus. He tells me that while I can't do anything about this, He can. He tells me that He'll save me better than Batman or Superman ever could (nerds unite! ;) jk!)! He tells me that this season will pass, but while I'm still in it, He won't leave me.

Then, satan attacks. He tells me that God doesn't want me. That He doesn't love me.. in fact, the devil tells me that I'm so filthy that God couldn't even look at me.

The devil is a LIAR! LIES are ALL he speaks.

I'm not perfect. I fall every single day. And until I'm in Heaven and made perfect, I will continue to fall. Where in the Bible does it say God expects perfection? Please, show me, because I have never read that. Maybe we should stop taking what every pastor or evangelist speaks out of his mouth as absolute truth and start questioning it. He (your pastor) isn't God. Nope. God is God and there is no other (Isaiah 45:5). Even your pastor will mislead you a time or two. Imperfect. Flawed. Jesus is the only perfect Being who ever walked the earth and He always will be.

My quest for perfection is slowly dying. A very slow, very painful death. It's hard to realize that I can't control anything. That despite my best efforts I will never be like God. Yet, He sent Jesus to do what only He could do and that was make a way. He made a way for me to be able to follow God, not on my own, but in and through Him. He made a way for the sins that feed on me daily, to have no power because He conquered them. Praise God that He is God!!! I'm so thankful.

God has patiently and lovingly put me in my place. I spend so much time doing for Him, trying to earn His love, similar to Martha, that I don't realize I need to be more like Mary. Sitting at His feet and enjoying Him. Don't let your quest to be perfect control you. Lay it at the foot of the Cross and leave it there. God doesn't expect perfection, He expects submission that we would know He knows what is best and not us. Blessings! ^_^

Eye of Sword {Book Review}



When I got this book I seriously could not put it down!

I read the first one Breath of Angel and it was sooo good so needless to say I was really excited for this.

In this book one of the characters, Trevin, goes through many challenges to not only win the heart of the princess, but also to find out who he is and why he is here.

I identified with him very well because just like him we all go through those times where we need to find out who we are and while trying to find out who we are we usually face a few obstacles along the way.

This book is so beautifully written and will definitely leave you on the edge of your seat! I found myself just waiting to see what was gonna happen next. If you like adventure mixed with a little love and lots fascinating story-telling you'll enjoy this book. :)

Note: This book was given to me by Waterbrook Multnomah for reviewing purposes.

3.13.2012

His strength, not mine

Why is it so easy to tell people that Jesus loves them and firmly believe it, but yet when it comes to ourselves it's so hard to believe the same?

I've struggled with that for so long. Always believing that God loved everyone and was pleased with everyone but me. Why? Because I sin daily, I fall short daily, and I look around and think, 'Do these people ever fall down? Really, God? Do they? They seem so perfect... though I know their not. Why would You choose me?' Silly, foolish me. I was soo wrong about a lot. (Side note: the devil is a liar. Every single person has fallen short (Romans 3:23) and will do so until the day they die. Through Jesus we have redemption!)

Today I was spending time with the Lord. I take full advantage of these lovely sunny days we have. :) I was just talking to Jesus about this and some other stuff and He absolutely blew my mind.

Not only did the Lord start telling me how much He loves me, but He was also pointing out some areas in my life that I hadn't surrendered to Him. He showed me that I've been relying on my strength and not on His.

We either trust God and believe Him or we don't. That simple. I've been struggling with that sin that you just hate, but can't seem to get rid of. Like you go a few days without falling down in that area, but then you fall down again. It's been driving me absolutely insane!!! God showed me something very sobering though, I keep falling into this sin because I'm relying on my strength and not His. Boom. That one hurt.

Matthew 19:26 says,

"But Jesus looked at them and said, "With men this impossible, but with God all things are possible."

ALL things. Not some, but all. That addiction, that sin, that life-style, whatever it is we can conquer in and through our Savior. Not on our own. Relying on your power to get through something will just cause you to get the same results you've gotten before because we have no power outside of Christ.

If you're having the same issue, I really encourage you to read this. It really blessed me and helped me figure a few things out.

Let's focus on relying on the Lord and His strength and not our own. Our strength is very feeble and will fail after a short while. God is strong and mighty forever. Have a blessed night! :)

3.12.2012

Let go!

These past four days have been sooo hard. Praise God, though, because He, being so faithful, brought me through them! ^.^

I was on my face most of the weekend begging God to take away the desires that weren't of Him. I tried suppressing thoughts, praying til I was eventually crying, reading His Word, and still.. nothing seemed to be helping me too much.

Sometimes I put on a mask of, 'Everything is cool. I don't have any problems. Life is good. *Insert small smile*.' I put it on at home, at church, at the store, and many other places. That mask is on so much that I forget to take off before the Lord. I get into a habit of suppressing my feelings and even telling Him, "God, I'm fine. I'm okay. No problems here. Go deal with someone who is really having a bad day." while secretly I am dying inside. Except it's not a secret to God. He's waiting on me. It's my move. He doesn't force us into anything we don't want to do, so He waits. He waits for us to give it up and let Him work and move in us. He waits for us to lay down our pride and humble ourselves before Him because He delights in that.

"The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. God, You will not despise a broken and humbled heart." - Psalm 51:17

Today, I took the mask off.

I sat in my room, with lifted hands, and became bare before the Lord. I sat there listening to worship music and just felt His overwhelming love. I imagine He was smiling while saying, "Yes! You finally let go." I mean, God already sees all of my struggles, all my ugliness, and He says He'll take it for me if I'll let go of it. So many times though, we cling to the very things that cause us to fall daily and we ask God to take it away but all the while He's saying, "If you would let go of it, I will take it for you."

My challenge for you is to let go of whatever 'it' is that has been holding you back. Whatever has been holding you back from being all God has made you to be. Whatever has been holding you back from accepting Him and His grace, love, and mercy. Whatever has been holding you back... let go of it now. Let Him lead you to better things. Things of value. Things that matter. God has got you. Let go, He'll catch you! Love you guys! :)

3.08.2012

Reckless worship...

He sat in the second row at the very end of the pew.

He was dressed in raggedy, once very nice clothes. He looked around. Very observant of everything around him.

We started worship and he began to sing.

He sang loudly and off-key, but in my ears it was still beautiful. I stood there, singing with everyone, almost in awe of a man who probably had been told before that he couldn't sing and yet he sang praises to God with raised hands so heart felt and proudly. I began to smile.

Afterwards I heard people talking about "the guy who couldn't sing". I was somewhat ashamed that they would be talking about him like that when in my mind, we should all be so bold.

There have been many times I haven't sang any higher than a whisper because I was afraid the people around me would think of me badly and talk about me. Because who wants to be known as the girl who "just can't sing"? Not me. That day, God humbled me a lot. Who am I to withhold all of my praise to a God so deserving of it? Deserving of so much more.

I wonder if that man, who left so quickly after church that I couldn't get his name, knows how often I think of him. I wonder if he knows the impact that his unreserved, bold, outspoken worship to God had on me.

We have got to stop being so afraid of what people will say or think of us. Are we trying to win God's approval or man's? 

"For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave of Christ." - Galations 1:10

Really, we need to stop and take that question seriously and think about it. Who are you trying to please- man or God?

I don't care if people hear me singing and say, "Wow, you really can't sing." because I know that their opinion of my worship to God doesn't matter. I'm not singing to them. I'm singing to God! Let's be radical. Let's give God our all. If it's pleasing Him and if it's glorifying to Him, who cares what other people think?! Let's strive to win His approval. Let's worship Him truly, surrendering our all every day, not caring who sees or who hears! Stay blessed! <3

"But an hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth. Yes, the Father wants such people to worship Him." - John 4:23

3.07.2012

My heart is broken

Today I'm fired up! I'm mad. I'm ashamed. I'm hurt. I'm broken.

Why? Great question!

Well, if you have any part in social networking sites you've probably been seeing things like, "STOP KONY 2012!" or "STOP KONY NOW!" You may have no idea what it's all about. I sure didn't. So watch this video and then we'll talk, cool? Great!



If that doesn't break your heart I have no clue what will. But anybody can have a broken heart and do nothing about it. Anybody can be sad about something in the world and never do a thing.

I've been there. I've seen things happen and done nothing about it. I just want to be happy, you know? But my happiness in my selfish life has been broken today. I realize now that just because you're sad or broken doesn't mean you're wrong or doing something wrong. That can be when God changes you and moves in you the most. My joy in Christ is not gone when I am sad, but my heart has been moved.

I've been sitting around my nice little home, enjoying every day in the sun and having fun and so on, yet I can't believe that God wants me to sit down and enjoy my luxurious life while others lives are being torn apart. Not just with these poor children being abducted, but with girls being forced to have sex every day or homeless people being left to die. My heart is not only broken, but I must move. I must do something.

I was reading Philippians 2:1-4 yesterday and verse 3 and 4 absolutely slapped me in the face. Like for real, it hurt reading it. It says,

"Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but for the interests of others."

I have been so selfish. I have said I love like Jesus and yet when it came down to doing something for others or doing something for myself, I picked me. I'm heartbroken.

I refuse to sit in my beautiful life and not share it with others. I refuse to not think about how many people are going to Hell unless someone tells them about Jesus. I refuse to pretend like everything is okay when it's not! Our world is broken and WE can help change it. Not we ourselves, but we as the body of Christ, walking and moving in Him!

I choose to be selfless, starting today. I will do one selfless act. What about you? Join me? I pray through you and through me God will be glorified and He will touch the people in this world one - by - one. Please share this video. It could be you or me that is being forced into something like that. Go to Kony2012.com to sign the pledge and show your support. Love y'all! Stay blessed. <3

3.05.2012

Torn

I am torn.

Torn between two worlds. Two different lives. One life wants me to be happy all the time and 'go with the flow', yet it leaves me feeling depressed and broken. The other life wants nothing more than the One who created me. That life leaves me feeling blessed, joyful, frustrated, yet grateful.

I wish I had no desire to sin. To want nothing more than God and Him alone. I wish I didn't fail God, yet it happens every day. I can't earn His love, I can't give Him all I want and He still says He loves me. That just makes me feel... torn. Torn between happiness and feelings of unworthiness. Torn between loving myself and hating who I used to be.

Even as I'm feeling these things; feeling the pulling between my flesh and the Spirit, God is there to remind me I am not who I used to be. That's where the burdens start getting so heavy- when I begin thinking that I've not changed that much. Listening to Satan saying those lies like, "You're never gonna stop doing that sin, are you? Might as well give in to it now. You've already dirtied yourself beyond repair anyways. Go ahead, feel alive! Only I know that you will just feel empty afterwards, but you don't need to know that. Remember that happy feeling and forget that sad, heavy one."

His lies sound so good, don't they? "Feed your pleasure, feed your lust, feed your self." but they never live up to expectations. You feed your flesh until it either gets too tiring, too boring, or too draining. Sin is fun, but only for a moment. Then, it becomes your battle against the enemy.

I've noticed that when I get most discouraged or oppressed is when I begin entertaining Satan's lies. I forget my identity in the Lord and remember all the ways I failed in the past and then that's it. I sin. I fall. I feel liberated for a moment and then nothing. I feel condemned and empty.

Jesus doesn't want us to live lives always walking from one end to the other. As Kyle Idleman says in 'Not a Fan', "Jesus doesn't expect followers to be perfect, but He does expect them to be authentic." Too true! God didn't create us for ourselves, He created us for Him! He didn't create us to live lives that never satisfy and always leave you empty. He created us to have a desire for Him and only Him and with our lives, to bring Him glory.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away, and look, new things have come." HCSV

You cannot let your past define you! CANNOT. Period. Accept it and then choose to move forward. It's our looking back that gets us every time. You start living for God, you're pleasing Him and doing well and then one look back you start thinking about sin. Thinking about how things used to be. Stop that! If you are living for the Lord you are living the life He intended you to live. Stop entertaining those thoughts from the enemy and start listening to His voice. Dwell on Jesus, not on sin. Dwell on His Word, not on filthy, lust filled, leads to death, thoughts.

I will be torn between the two worlds (Earth & Heaven) until I meet Jesus face - to - face. It's a daily battle. One that will always be there. Thankfully, we don't have to be torn all alone. Jesus is there to gently remind us who we are in Him. He is there when we hear the calls back to sin and He is there to help us pass the test and continue moving forward. It's not easy, we will fall, but the most important thing is to keep moving forward in Christ. Have a blessed night!

3.03.2012

When I stopped running...

I ran.

Oh boy, did I run. I ran fast and I ran hard... yet I couldn't escape.

The more I tried to break free to run away there He was. Standing there. Looking at me. Not with the hatred I thought would be there. No. What I saw.. was grace. I saw love. But how?

I've been thinking so much lately about how undeserving I am of God's grace, yet He still loves me. He still chose me. He still chooses to love me.

I ran from Him as if he were evil. I had a picture in my head of a God who couldn't wait to get me to Heaven just to tell me I couldn't stay. I couldn't believe He would love me. More like, wouldn't. I was too unworthy, too unholy, too... opposite, for Him to even look my way.. but He did anyway.

The filth that used to be on me.. I looked up and Jesus was holding it. Carrying it. He was on a Cross and held all my dirty little secret sins, all my ugliness, all my evil. He made me pure. Holy. Good. And without Him I am still impure, unholy, and evil. Thank you, Jesus, for Your saving grace!

Before God saved me, I tried everything to fill that void in my life. I tried placing several things and several different people in the place that was reserved for Him. Only He can fill that void. Only Him.

"Do not have other gods beside Me." -Exodus 20:3

I had soo many gods and none of them were the real One. None of them satisfied me, none of them held me, none of them pursued me. Yet every single time I stopped to catch my breath, there God was. Holding out His hand saying, "Choose Me."

I think of all the times somebody did or said something I didn't like. Or people who live lives that I don't agree with. Sometimes I get self-righteous and start thinking, "Pshhh! I'm not gonna love you. You, of all people. Ew. No. I can't. You hurt me. You turned your back on me. You broke my trust. You broke my heart." But every single time I do that, God reminds me, "Beloved, you did the same. You turned your back on me. You hated Me in every sense. You refused to live My way and yet I still loved you. I have always loved you. Love them through Me."

How can I not? Especially God convicts me like that. I must. Through Him, by Him, and in Him.

This post is to remind the person who thinks they've blown it, that God is still seeking you. He still wants to save you. He still can. Nothing is impossible for God. Nothing. Stop running. Turn around. Your Savior is right there. Follow Him.

This post is also to the person who thinks they've got it all together and are just "too holy" for their own good. Jesus saved you from your filth. Be careful not to become self-righteous because you didn't save yourself. God did. Give Him the glory and Him the praise. Not yourself.

Have a blessed weekend! Love y'all! <3