I can't do this.
No, I'm not talking down on myself. I'm telling the truth. This is too big for me. Too great. I don't have the strength nor the power to overcome this.
What am I talking about? Sin. Why do people think following Jesus equals perfection? Because if we're honest with ourselves, we know we will never be without sin. Ever. Period.
Jesus made the bridge for us to be able to come to God in our filth and brokenness and ask Him to take us and make us more like Him. Why do we think God hates us? He doesn't hate us, He hates sin. Any Righteous Judge would. He is the righteous Judge.
I'm tired of the lies.
Lies from people, lies from satan, lies from pastors who are convinced they are the only 'true ones' who know the Bible.
This season in my life is somewhat dry. I feel helpless, tired, like I can do nothing about it and just to top it off, I'm told there is nothing I can do about. Now, I really am hopeless.
Then, in steps Jesus. He tells me that while I can't do anything about this, He can. He tells me that He'll save me better than Batman or Superman ever could (nerds unite! ;) jk!)! He tells me that this season will pass, but while I'm still in it, He won't leave me.
Then, satan attacks. He tells me that God doesn't want me. That He doesn't love me.. in fact, the devil tells me that I'm so filthy that God couldn't even look at me.
The devil is a LIAR! LIES are ALL he speaks.
I'm not perfect. I fall every single day. And until I'm in Heaven and made perfect, I will continue to fall. Where in the Bible does it say God expects perfection? Please, show me, because I have never read that. Maybe we should stop taking what every pastor or evangelist speaks out of his mouth as absolute truth and start questioning it. He (your pastor) isn't God. Nope. God is God and there is no other (Isaiah 45:5). Even your pastor will mislead you a time or two. Imperfect. Flawed. Jesus is the only perfect Being who ever walked the earth and He always will be.
My quest for perfection is slowly dying. A very slow, very painful death. It's hard to realize that I can't control anything. That despite my best efforts I will never be like God. Yet, He sent Jesus to do what only He could do and that was make a way. He made a way for me to be able to follow God, not on my own, but in and through Him. He made a way for the sins that feed on me daily, to have no power because He conquered them. Praise God that He is God!!! I'm so thankful.
God has patiently and lovingly put me in my place. I spend so much time doing for Him, trying to earn His love, similar to Martha, that I don't realize I need to be more like Mary. Sitting at His feet and enjoying Him. Don't let your quest to be perfect control you. Lay it at the foot of the Cross and leave it there. God doesn't expect perfection, He expects submission that we would know He knows what is best and not us. Blessings! ^_^