These past four days have been sooo hard. Praise God, though, because He, being so faithful, brought me through them! ^.^
I was on my face most of the weekend begging God to take away the desires that weren't of Him. I tried suppressing thoughts, praying til I was eventually crying, reading His Word, and still.. nothing seemed to be helping me too much.
Sometimes I put on a mask of, 'Everything is cool. I don't have any problems. Life is good. *Insert small smile*.' I put it on at home, at church, at the store, and many other places. That mask is on so much that I forget to take off before the Lord. I get into a habit of suppressing my feelings and even telling Him, "God, I'm fine. I'm okay. No problems here. Go deal with someone who is really having a bad day." while secretly I am dying inside. Except it's not a secret to God. He's waiting on me. It's my move. He doesn't force us into anything we don't want to do, so He waits. He waits for us to give it up and let Him work and move in us. He waits for us to lay down our pride and humble ourselves before Him because He delights in that.
"The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. God, You will not despise a broken and humbled heart." - Psalm 51:17
Today, I took the mask off.
I sat in my room, with lifted hands, and became bare before the Lord. I sat there listening to worship music and just felt His overwhelming love. I imagine He was smiling while saying, "Yes! You finally let go." I mean, God already sees all of my struggles, all my ugliness, and He says He'll take it for me if I'll let go of it. So many times though, we cling to the very things that cause us to fall daily and we ask God to take it away but all the while He's saying, "If you would let go of it, I will take it for you."
My challenge for you is to let go of whatever 'it' is that has been holding you back. Whatever has been holding you back from being all God has made you to be. Whatever has been holding you back from accepting Him and His grace, love, and mercy. Whatever has been holding you back... let go of it now. Let Him lead you to better things. Things of value. Things that matter. God has got you. Let go, He'll catch you! Love you guys! :)