So the past 2 and a half weeks I've been going this thing called 'The Lord's Table' course. It's sooo good! If you want to join in you can go here.
As I've said many times before I've struggled with food my entire life. I've known sorta kinda known that it might be an idol, but I never really considered any further. I mean, look around your church. Everybody seems to be a little bit overweight, even your pastor and nobody really talks about how gluttony is a sin. Well, when I started the course my initial thoughts were, 'This will be good. I'll get closer to Jesus, make Him happy by eating to glorify Him, and I'll lose weight in the process.' Then, God broke me.
I've stayed broken too. God can only build us up once we've allowed Him to break us completely.
As I've been in my brokenness, crying out to God, He has shown me many things in my life that have become idols. They might not have started out that way, but eventually became an idol for me. Food of course was a big one, but I hadn't realized how I'd allowed the television, music, websites, and even people to become idols. What is an idol? Anything you put before God. Plain and simple. Anything you delight in before God, is an idol. Anything you run to before God, is an idol. Get the point?
In Psalm 51:16-17 it says, "You do not want a sacrifice, or I would give it; You are not pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. God, You will not despise a broken and humbled heart."
Why does God not want your sacrifice? I thought about that yesterday and someone much wiser helped me out. You can give a sacrifice to the Lord without your heart being a part of it. See what I'm saying? You can say, "Here, Lord, take this." and it mean nothing. But to lay down your life before Him and say, "God, I'm broken and weak. I'm not as strong as I thought I was and all these idols and things are pulling me down. Take all of me. Every inch. I want nothing left behind, but for You to have all of me." that shows your broken before Him and that pleases Him because it's genuine.
It's okay to be broken.
I'm not gonna lie to you. These past few weeks have some of the best and worst days of my life. It's painful. I don't want to displease the Lord so I press on, but to say it hasn't crossed my mind to go back to my old ways would so be a lie. I'm asking the Lord to let my love for Him and His love for me override my selfish desires for sin. My love for food was big. Laugh all you want, roll your eyes all you want, but it's not easy to eat only when you're hungry and only until you're full when you've eaten to fill a void in your heart all your life. That's really the problem, I've been replacing the Lord and the joy and life and satisfaction only He can offer with food, tv, material stuff that will never satisfy.
Maybe you've been doing the same thing. You've allowed all these things to become your delight and now you want God to be your all. Simply tell Him. That's what I did and HE has been doing the rest. He has broken me and left me in awe of Him all at the same time.
Watch the video below. It's a beautiful song that will touch your heart and make you think. Let God break you and as He does, remember it's okay to be broken because in His arms, He remakes us. <3