6.21.2012

Attack.

Last night I sat on my bed with my journal and tears streaming down my face and just poured out my heart to God.

Yesterday stunk soo bad. I wanted to punch a wall... or a person... haha! (that's a joke btw;) but it seriously wasn't a good day at all.

It's really hard to take on a positive attitude when your day isn't going well at all.

First off, my family & I were arguing about EVERYTHING! When I thought I was being patient and calm, I wasn't. It's soo hard being patient when you're angry.

I wasn't having a good confidence day either. I felt "too fat", "too ugly", and "too unlovable". These things are always a battle for me, but yesterday it was especially tough.

On top of those two things I felt so far away from my Savior and the more I talked to Him the further He seemed. That late night cry was soo needed.

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This morning I woke up with a sense of dread and I just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep and then.. I got up. Why?

Well, here's a story for you.

I have a wonderful friend named Ashley (click her name and go check out her blog:) and we both have problems with food (eating disorders) and so we talk about it each week and what's been helping each of us and yesterday I was kinda just thinking about her and me and what we're going through and the Lord broke through with one word: Attack.

It wasn't quiet and it wasn't loud, it was just... profound. I told her about it and she said it was funny because God kept showing her things with the word "Fight". Coincidence? I think not. Later as I was thinking about it some more I realized how I lack the drive and want to attack. I just give in.

So I got up this morning knowing that it was going to be hard, knowing I'll have trials, knowing that it may not go smoothly or happily, yet knowing my Savior is with me. If I didn't have Jesus, I probably would just stay in bed all day and sleep because life's problems are too hard to deal with without Him. Seriously.

Tomorrow, neither you nor I will know what happens. God knows though! Does that bring you peace? It should because He is always with us (His promise to us! <3) Tomorrow might stink and you might cry, but remember all we have to do is take one step at a time with the Lord. Let's attack right back when we're under fire! Let's not give in to those lies the enemy is feeding. Attack with His Word and shut the devil up!! Love y'all!! You're beautiful just as you are.

1 comment:

  1. Can I get a Aaaaaamen! Haha, I love you and this blessed me just being reminded of what the Lord is showing both of us at the same time. How exciting! Stay strong and be freee girly. If the Son has set us free, we are free indeed! <3

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