Y'all, I feel naked today.
I'm squirming and moving trying to make sure no one gets a good look at me because I've been struggling.
Satan has attacked me so much lately. I know I should see that as a good thing because he wouldn't attack someone who was worthless... but I don't see it as a good thing.
I hate it.
Every minute of it. He's such a punk. I can do all things through Christ.
I know this. It's truth. I know.
Yet when it comes time for battle I do the dumbest thing I possibly could do and rely on my own strength. My self.
I fail every freaking time.
Is that so hard to get through my head? That alone I can do NOTHING?!
Apparently the answer is yes.
Pride, pride, pride.
I don't like sharing my struggles. I don't like being "that" Christian that everyone views as weak.
I always need prayer.
I am always struggling with something.
I can cry at the drop of a hat.
Sin is always crouching at my door.
If I go one second without committing my thoughts to Christ, I will fall into sin.
Yet I don't hope or boast in these things. I hope and boast in Christ who knows these struggles and sees them and still loves me. He still pursues me and woos me and seeks after me and changes me.
Oh, sweet Jesus, thank You!!
I read a quote earlier that said, "Don't compare yourself to other Christians. Compare yourself to Christ, He's the One you're following."
That's what happens to me.
I compare myself to others who are "better" Christians. More faithful. More loving. More caring. And I forget His finished work on the Cross. I forget how He walked and I forget that He's transforming me into His image. Not anyone elses.
So it's November and everyone is talking about giving thanks. I give thanks for many reasons today but here's a few...
He's not finished with me yet.
My flaws can be used for His glory.
I serve a Savior who will never grow tired of me, never leave me, and who offers new life daily simply stating, "Come and die. Follow Me."
I will, Lord. I'm Yours.