12.13.2012

Everything Isn't Always Awesome

Everything isn't always awesome.

Some days are just junk.

Some days I wake up with a sense of dread and have no clue why.

My life is far from "normal"... (whatever the heck that is!)

Some days I'm super fired up for the Lord and what He's doing and other days I sit on the floor in my room and just cry.

People think that Christians are perfect (or want to be) and a lot of times those feelings are validated by the lack of struggles they see.

But those struggles are there.

Regardless of what any other follower of Jesus tells you, even having Christ in me doesn't prevent struggles, bad hair days, or the super snappy, not-so-nice comment to another individual.

Need examples?

This morning I woke up super excited for the day and not even an hour later with teeth clenched, anger started coming over me. Call it being a girl, or emotions, or whatever you want... I'll just say that I think the Enemy was awake at 5 in the morning too.

The past few days I've been snapping at my family all over the place. I'm not proud of it at all, but it's been another struggle.

To top it all off, no matter how hard I try to forget some things from my past they haunt me in my dreams and in my mind. They are what are commonly called "regrets" and though I know my Father used those things for His glory and my good, I still get sick to my stomach thinking about them.

It's not all rainbows and happiness.
It's not always pretty.

Sometimes it's ugly.

It's saying things in prayer time I never imagined myself saying, but knowing that He knew it all anyway so might as well speak it into the Light and deal with it.

It's mascara all over my face with a runny nose and tears falling faster than you can count.

Because this life is messy and hard and there's never a dull moment, truly. But it's in these moments that I find a Savior who is enough for me. He's better than I could ever be and He loves me knowing that.

Find His purpose in your pain (because there is purpose) and find His strength when you're frail and can't seem to get up.

Everything isn't always awesome... but God never changes.

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