12.03.2012

The Gift Of Free Will - Monday Reflections

"You gave him the greatest gift a father can give his child: free will to do whatever he wants."

While watching a somewhat predictable Christmas movie a man spoke those words and of course my heart grabbed onto them and soared.

Free will - it's a gift.
Not just a gift that earthly parents can give, but a beautiful gift from our Heavenly Abba.

Let me tell you a little about that gift and how the Lord used it to transform my entire life.

About 2 years ago I decided that I was bored with being single. I wasn't so interested in this gift of celibacy He'd given me. I decided it would be fun and nice to have a relationship with someone. I got into one- one that was not emotionally healthy. One where there was far too much verbal abuse and I ended up very scarred by that.

It was my choice, though.

God tried to stop me. He provided many, many signs and words pushing me to go with Him and not this person I was so interested in. But He gave me free will and allowed me to go on even if it wasn't best.

That's what He wants. His glory and my best.

Months later the relationship ended. My heart was broken. My life seemed pointless (that's what happens when you make another person your idol). I was so hurt and soon the pain was too much and I thought maybe ending my life was an answer to it all.

He saved me.

Moments before, He spoke gently to me. He told me my purpose is in Him. He told me He'd take me back. He told me He'd heal my hurts. He just asked me to make the choice now.

I did. I prayed. I cried, sobbed. I didn't feel worthy of Him. I took His gift and I used it against Him. Yet, His love... oh, His love was so overwhelming and it held me for many months after that.

His love still holds me.

Jesus is our freedom. He is our gift. Christmas is a time where everyone talks about gifts, but we forget why we celebrate Christmas. We celebrate Him; His birth. Because He died to free us from the yoke of sin. Yet, even the Lord knowing what's best for us- He still allows us to choose what we really want.

"Any attempt to satisfy your wants apart from God's will ultimately leads not to delight, but to destruction. "

Gotta love Twitter. Read that earlier and it fits well, I think. See, we have the gift of free will... the freedom to choose if we want Him or we want sin ('cause those are the only options), yet, we will never find satisfaction apart from Him. We won't find true life and fulfillment apart from being in His will. That's why He tells us not to do something. It's not a punishment- it's for our good.

You have a choice. You can choose Him and the life He gives or you can continue living in sin and destruction and never be satisfied. I hope you know He loves you and that He really does want you.

You matter and are valued in His eyes.

Do you have a story of how free will led you away or towards Christ (or both)? Feel free to share!

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