I hadn't been to church in a couple weeks. Still searching around for the "right one".
I've met the man preaching at camp before. He's extremely joyful (like one of those people who can find something good in just about everything), and he's hilarious. That's my kind of pastor (of course preaching the Bible completely, not just the sweet and nice parts, is of most importance... and yes, he does that too. ;) )
We sang hymns and greeted one another.
Really, it was beautiful.
Then, he got down to business. He talked about boldness and Christians needing more of it. He talked about how evangelism should be a part of everything we do, not just those fun evangelism trips you take with your church.
This part was just as beautiful, but also very painful.
Sharing the Gospel scares me.
There, I said it. Judge me as you may (do remember Matthew 7:1), but that's the truth. I've been praying for less fear and more boldness and for a moment I feel peace and I'm ready to do this thing... but a few moments later the fear comes back.
I asked myself a simple question last night,
What scares me about sharing the Gospel?
A few answers came.
Rejection. Not knowing what to say. Giving them a bad taste for who God is, because I'm finite and make mistakes.
But those are all excuses and if you want to know the real issue with my lack (and probably yours too) of sharing the Gospel I can tell you very simply: we don't trust God.
I don't trust He'll provide the words for me to speak. I don't trust that even if I mess up, He'll bring healing to that person. I don't trust Him to take full control and I believe that it's all on me and I must take over.
So it brings me back to His constant lesson of letting go. Knowing that I'm just a small part of this story and that He has full control.
I'm praying for boldness and opportunities, and though I'm nervous about those opportunities that will come, I trust He's gonna provide the words and even if I mess them up a little, they'll be for that person's good and His glory.
Do not fear, for He is with us. Hallelujah. Be bold because you can.
"For nothing will be impossible with God." - Luke 1:27