Deception crowded in. Lies filled my head and I couldn't shake them for anything.
I cried tears I didn't know I had and sobbed more than I knew I could.
"I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." - Psalm 34:4
I can't tell you how hard this week was. There aren't words to describe it. But I can tell you that His grace and mercy is still alive and well! HE IS STILL WORKING.
Are we looking for Him?
I read His Word more than anything else this week. Funny thing is I don't miss not reading the 20 different blogs I follow or the 10 "need to read" books I have sitting in my room. I don't miss them because they never have brought me life and never will. Only my God can do that.
Doubts like never before crowded in. Never. before. I thought it was hopeless and for at least three days it looked completely hopeless.
But it wasn't.
I was ignorant. I refused to believe the proof He gave me over and over. He would tell me one thing and I would say, "Yeah, but what about..." and completely go against that prayer I had just prayed.
But I serve the God who answers even His doubting child. I serve a God who listens to my cries and after I've realized how prideful and stupid I really was/am He comes and swoops me up.
So with a deleted Facebook and Twitter account, I have come back to my First Love. I have seen His blessings all around me and I have seen how easily fooled I was into thinking that they were not blessings, but rather burdens. Umm, hello? S-T-U-P-I-D.
Lord, keep Your silly, sometimes foolish, always needy servant in Your hands. Lord God, save us from our doubts, fears, and worries. Save us from ourselves. Move us into Your presence and away from things of this world. Renew our strength in You that You alone would be praised. Help us guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.