Emotions, truth, a dream, and crazy conclusions.
I had a dream the other night that I wanted these really cute red pumps. When I was talking to my mom about them she said I didn't need them and couldn't get them. The conversation (from my dream) went a little like this...
Me: These are really cute and look! They fit my feet! (I have large feet so this is actually really exciting! ;P )
Her: You don't need those. They're too high and you can't have them.
Me: You don't love me.
*Conversation ends and I wake up*
Hold up. Whaaaat?
This describes me jumping to unnecessary and downright crazy conclusions all the time.
It's never about the shoes, or the hair, or whatever it is that causes me to jump to really weird and over dramatic ideas about why someone said what they said or did what they did.
It's always a heart issue. A trust issue. A I-have-believed-the-lies-too-many-times issue.
This isn't just a dream to me. It's part of my life. Something doesn't go my way and instantly I jump to, "I'm not good enough." "She hates me." "God must be angry with me." and on and on. This isn't just something that I do. I know others struggle with it as well.
So, how do you combat it? WITH TRUTH AND NOT YOUR FEELINGS.
Read that last sentence again.
Have you and I made our emotions counterfeit gods? Have we chosen to allow our emotions to lead us instead of our God and have we believed the lies that Satan has told us so many times that even if the truth slapped you hard in the face you'd never realize it?
Oh, God, open our eyes!
After a really hard week God gave me the revelation that in our relationship I had been letting a lot of emotions lead me and I hadn't really been following Him as much as I thought I was. I liked the butterflies, the excitement of being with Him, but on the days I was worn completely down I didn't like Him or myself so much. I was letting emotions run my life, not the Lord.
Emotions aren't bad at all. In fact, God gave them to us to use and enjoy. You can't separate yourself from them (PRAISE THE LORD!), but you can numb them. That's what you don't want to do. What we want to do is take these emotions to the Lord and say, "Lord, here's the emotions I'm struggling with. I don't believe they are in accordance with Your Word so please shape them to follow You. Lead my heart to align with Your Word."
Jeremiah 17:9 says that the heart is deceitful and nobody can know it. Translated: LEAD YOUR HEART. Don't let your heart lead you. Let God lead you. We must trust Him and know that even those difficult "You don't love me." moments can be worked for our good and His glory as we allow Him to shape us.
There may come a time in your life where your emotions are confusing and you're not really sure you can follow God where He's leading you. It's in those times that you'll be thankful for not only His grace and strength, but that you can follow Him regardless of what you're feeling because of Christ in you. That's where I'm at right now and it's actually an awesome place to be. More on that later. :)