Following Jesus is hard.
If someone told you otherwise they were lying. Following Jesus is hard and it's a fight. You will wrestle more in this life because of it but guess what? It will be worth it in the end.
2 Corinthians 5:7 says, "And we walk by faith, not by sight."
That verse is something I've been praying for a while and asking God's help in living that way because on my own I'm helpless and hopeless. God has been answering that prayer for a couple of months in various ways.
One thing I love to do is worship God through song. Music has always been something I've loved. I can sing all day and when I began living for Christ worship music then became a passion of mine. I've since learned that it's also an awesome tool for fighting against Satan's attacks but that's an entirely different blog post.
A few weeks back I was reading an Amy Carmichael devotional where she said there are times that God will ask us to live out what we sing. I read it and thought, Wow. That's good! and then moved on, but last night that quote entered my mind. I've been asking God for help being bold and courageous but unknowingly (or maybe partially I knew) I've been choosing my own comfortable ways. I haven't been living by faith. So last night I was challenged to do something I knew I needed to do. Before preaching began at church we had worship time through song. God knew the song my heart needed and He let it play. I sang the words and as I sang His gentle voice said,
"Will you really, child? Obey Me."
I knew exactly what He was telling me to do and so I began praying for boldness, for the words to speak, for His Spirit to empower me. And you know what? He provided! I stood before several people and did exactly what He told me to do. I was scared. I thought about turning around, but He helped me step up, step forward and speak life to people who need it (and we all need Him).
Maybe we shouldn't be so afraid. God is for us. Who can be against us? No one. We read all these amazing stories of God working through people and saving/changing lives and allowing these men and women of God to be apart and we always think, Yeah, I want to do that, God! The thing is, we can't do it but He can. We must be willing and then we must do what He says. Maybe Katie Davis, Jim Elliot, John Piper, Amy Carmichael and __________ (insert name) aren't that able to do these things for the Lord* (because God alone supplies us with everything we have.), maybe it's just that they're willing.
I'm learning more and more what it means and looks like to rely on Him. I'm learning to live by faith.
*I in no way am disrespecting these brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm encouraged by their lives of faith! My point is just to remind you that we all have ministries the Lord wants to move in and through, we just need to be available.