Sometimes I try too hard. Especially when I'm around people that I want so badly to like me.
In the past those attempts have proved unsuccessful and yet still I try so hard.
I had somewhat of an awkward moment with some friends earlier this week... or so I thought. I went around the house moping for a while, then I journaled some to the Lord and then I asked for help getting over it. Hours later I come home to find a message, "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?"
I tend to overreact to rejection or in this case perceived rejection. I know that nobody enjoys to be rejected and that when it hits it hurts. I try to put on a facade but God sees right through that.
I'm so afraid of being hurt that I allow it to hold me back. This living by faith I talked about? Yeah, it's even harder to do when you're afraid of being hurt and rejected by others.
Does that mean I just sit and do nothing? Wait until the pain won't come? The tears stop flowing? My life looks perfect? None of those things will happen. The pain won't always be there, but it will come back at times. The tears will stop flowing until something else causes them to fall, and my life will never be or look perfect this side of Heaven so it's time to come to peace with that.
Maybe you fear rejection or think you can't do anything right, like you are always messing something up. God is not mad at you or disappointed in you because you fail. He knows we're going to fail at times, He knows we're going to misinterpret things at times, and He's there to pick us up and help us understand when we're confused. Sometimes He just reminds us, "I am with you." and that is enough.
I think because we expect perfection from ourselves and others we are more prone to being let down. Maybe we should move from moment to moment trusting God to do what He wills in the everyday. Maybe your "awkward moments" will turn around with a, "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?"