11.05.2013

Worth, value, and thanks


November is the month of thanks.

It's when everybody on Facebook starts listing what they're thankful for. People seem happier, more joyful when this time of year rolls around (mainly in the South we're just so thankful that 100 degree weather is finally over for a few months! ;) ).

Well the other night as I poured out my heart, I found a dislike that has dictated a lot of my life... a lot of my thanks. I found quite a few dislikes actually, but one in particular stood high above the others. You ready for it? ...

My size.

Yup. Self-centered Tara. It's a place of pain. I remember as a child growing up larger than everybody else because I used food to "fill up" my love tank... problem was food was never meant to do that and I learned that later in life but that's another post for another day. I remember the fat jokes people told. The comments people made. They stuck well. I remember my third grade teacher coming up and jokingly saying, "When's the baby due?" and I remember well the time that guy I liked came over and said, "You know the reason why I and other guys like you? Because you have big hips and a big butt."

Awesome. Let's put that one in love note, right? Ha!

So each time I look in the mirror I remember those words. I remember those jokes. I remember that I never want to look that way again. I exercise as much as necessary, and eat healthy. I wouldn't say I'm obsessive about it at all, but I am body conscious.

Do you know what the Lord told me to do with all this? Lay it down. Seriously. He told me to let it go.

Do you know what I did Sunday night? I cried and asked for help. Then, I wrote these words,

"Thank You for my healthy, working body. Thank You for my curves."

Wait, did I really just do that?! Yeah. Did it feel weird? Duh! Am I glad I wrote it, prayed it, and am still thinking on it? Yes. Because He has used that to remind me how blessed I am, how loved I am, and how unique He has made me. He is using this to show me that my worth comes from a much more stable, much more solid place than whether my pants size is in a single digit or not. (Which it isn't and no, I will not tell you what it is. ;P )

Our place of worth is found in the arms of Christ.

That place is only made possible by the sacrifice of Christ on the cross and it's only found through Him. We need to stop going to people, food, clothing sizes, and numbers on a scale to label ourselves. Go find the Truth! You are a blood bought child of God and you are precious to Him. Let His love draw you closer, deeper into His arms.

Let's stop the comparison game, okay? You're loved as you are. :)

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