I know a lot of nice people. A lot of people I like to compare myself to. A lot of people I compare to myself.
And can we just stop with this stupid comparison game already?
Yet I find myself once again jealous (shocking, right?), depressed, upset, and joyless. What about grace, though? Grace seems lost as well.
I've been praying a lot about being gracious, kind, pure, holy... and maybe the problem is I've yet to pray, "Make me Christ-like." My motives are always, make me like her. Make me sweet and kind and let others be impressed with me.
But He says we should be less and He should be greater and I just can't move myself out of the way. Oh Jesus, help me.
I've tried to be thankful for all the times He's shown me to be less loud and shall we say.. blunt? But each time I'm just flat on my face, begging for mercy, and a new personality... or maybe just a nicer one.
Today I'm asking for help to be joyful and confident in Him. To be Christ-like, not Beth Moore-like, not Stasi Eldridge-like, not like my mother or my sister or my friends, but more like Him in and through the unique personality He gave me. All those women are great for who they are, but we aren't the same. And it's okay. Oh Lord, help us to see it's okay. Maybe when I become more thankful for how He made me, I'll be more thankful for the way He made others, si?