5.19.2014

The blank page.

Bonnie Gray has a new book coming out.

I agreed to read it because Bonnie's story is similar to mine and she has an excellent gift from God in writing. She's very real and I like that. So within the next few weeks I'll be posting blog posts on what the Lord stirs in my heart as I journey through this book...

it (the book) is called: Finding Spiritual Whitespace: awakening your soul to rest.

Journey with me.


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Tonight's prompt was to read the list of images written on the page and find yourself- that one thing that sends a peace soaring through you- and then figure out why you identify with that.

Mine was the blank page.

You know what I'm talking about if you read some.

It's that space right after a chapter ends, and just before a new one beings. It's just one. blank. page.

And I really like it.

I guess you could say I'm drawn to it. Why?

Because that space is rest to me. It's the removal of striving and the invitation to just be.

The layer of fat around my middle; the slow pace of my jog, the way my nose tans faster than the rest of my face so it's two shades darker, the constant fear of letting down my family and friends and church family. It's the constant dread of being told "You're not good enough." and finally giving in to that voice that tells me that almost every day.

It's all that... removed.

It's freedom. And isn't that what Jesus gives us? True freedom from sin, from unrest.

But too often I can't find it. I could paint you a perfect person and name her "me" but she wouldn't be real and that's just stupid.

Right now I feel a mixture of peace and fear. The journey to rest isn't as simple as some think. And I can dwell on that and let dread overwhelm me (because sometimes real rest seems like a myth.) but I won't.

I'll let this time be my blank page and I'll just speak, "Thank You, Jesus. Help me trust You."

Amen.

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