Little girl inside

This is something I wrote in my journal a while ago after being prompted to by chapter 6 of 'Finding Spiritual Whitespace'. These are my thoughts coming from a wounded heart that seeks peace and healing.

She said, "Imagine yourself as a little girl again. You're looking at Jesus.

What do you see?"

I see myself in younger form staring at Him. It's that stare I know very well from myself. The stare of curiosity and fear.

Are You safe?
Can I trust You?
Will You hurt me?
Could You understand me?
What abuse will You heap on me?

I see myself refusing love again because I'm scared.

I sense disappointment and disgust, not love.

Love is foreign to younger me. She knows hate and anger and unkind words and punishment. Not love and kindness and beauty and sweet sentences and delight.

Oh, Jesus, show the little girl in me how to accept these things and enjoy them. Thank You.

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