7.11.2014

When you apologize for being the jerk

There are a lot of "you did me wrong" songs, movies, quotes on Pinterest and Instagram, etc.

But where are the quotes for when I do someone wrong and hurt them?

For about a year I've dealt with severe mood swings and anxiety. I don't always tell people because they give you two looks, 1. pity, or 2. you're crazy. I don't enjoy those looks so I've learned to keep it to myself.

Last month was particularly rough and I felt like every time I turned around I was hurting somebody with my words, my thoughts towards them (that eventually turned into words, so guard your thoughts and give them to Christ, friends!), looks I would give, or just being grumpy all the time.

I let my emotions rule me.

And I had enough.

July 1st I woke up so convicted and saddened that I had acted like a total jerk to the people I for real love the most. So I got up and apologized because I knew I needed to and I've been trying so very hard to rely upon the Lord and His strength and allow Him to help me when I'm grumpy or upset or insecure about something ever since then.

So far, it's been hard. I forget and let my guard down and Satan picks up where he left off. But when the Lord reminds me to stand guard, I ask for help and try really hard to move forward into love, and not backwards into anger.

Things that help me?

  • PRAYER!!!!

  • Enough rest, but not too much.

  • Reminding myself where my identity comes from and Who gives it.

  • Staying constant in the Word.

  • Sharing my struggles.

  • Not listening to the lies of Satan.


Because while we all would prefer not to be a jerk, there comes a time when you need to apologize and seek the help of God. Amen?

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