Sometimes I am such a diva. Where this comes from, I have no idea. I've always been a bit of a rebel and a bit of a go-getter, but when that go-getter attitude starts to become a prideful, I-know-more-than-you mindset, I'm ready for it to GO.
Last night I spent a couple hours in tears. Sometimes life just seems too hard. I forget to repeat Bible verses to myself. I fall into a pity-party and trying to get out... well the hole just seems to dig deeper.
And I don't like that version of myself. I hope it's not who I truly am. During those times, it's hard to tell where this stuff comes from and where it's going and when will it come back.
But every morning I read His Word and pray for help to understand it. I pray for help in living it out. I pray for help in loving more like Him and looking more like Him. I pray for healing in the deep, dark, so wounded crevices.
And I wait.
I wait for diva me to be redeemed.
I wait for patience to build.
I wait for love to overcome.
I wait for peace to heal the thumping in my heart.
I wait for calm in the storms.
I wait for deliverance.
I wait for Jesus.
He will come just as rain comes. Hold on. Give thanks. Thankfulness is an arrow that can penetrate the ugly. He can turn the ugly into beauty for His glory. Hallelujah.