Tuesday night thoughts....

My brain rattles.

I'm supposed to be sleeping but I'm not. Instead, I'm awake. I'm worried. I'm fearful. I'm losing hope.

The things I thought would happen have not.
My hopes have remained hopes and my dreams have not yet been fulfilled.

So I think of Abraham. He was told of the promise and he held onto that hope even though it took many, many, many years.

We both serve the same God.
The same God gave him the strength to hold on.

Will the same God grant me the same strength?
He gives as there is need. I am needy. He will provide.

I trust You, Jesus.


Wrecked Faith

I bought a car a month ago.

4 weeks later, my car was wrecked and totaled.

I've been through doubt and faith and back again over and over these past couple of weeks.

Doubt that I'll find another car. Faith that I will.
Doubt that if I had taken a different path, it would've turned out better. Faith that if God didn't want it to happen, it wouldn't have.
Doubt that He will come through. Faith that He will.

It's a journey. And it's hard. It's messy and it's beautiful.


Sometimes my faith soars and many times it falters. It's that feeling of energy in the morning... the trust and the hope that God is doing something amazing. It's also that feeling of dread and fear and panic... that maybe faith isn't quite worth it and maybe it's really not there... so certain that maybe it's not. Faith can be quite good or quite bad depending on who you listen to... the dark or the Light.

The first few days after the crash, faith was hard. I was down, sad. Then, God changed my perspective. He gave a gift. Faith. My eyes shown bright again. Joy followed my steps. And the words in His pages were sung over my life.

This is what it's all about. The glorifying of the Father in the dark... when He hung on a tree and died. The glorifying of the Father in the dark... when tears were all I could find, and yet praise rose from my throat.


It's a hard journey, but He is in this journey and that is where I find comfort to keep going.



A new breeze blows.

Follow Me. Love Me. Glorify Me. Find life.

Sin lures.

Chase us. We're fun. Do it. He'll forgive you.

A choice is made.

Follow. Obey. Listen. 

But who?

The glory of the moment of the glory of eternity.

One will last forever and one will lead to eternal damnation.

The Spirit still calls.

I choose you. I forgive you. Come. Come to Me. All who are weary. I will give you rest.

Rest sounds good when sin has left us empty. And it always leaves us empty. Don't forget the emptiness. Don't let it crawl back into your mind that sin matters more... it's more "fun". It also will make you sick and lead to death.

Go. Run. Run into His arms and run away from that sin. His promises are true and far better than the empty promises sin seems to keep making. Choose life. 



It's over. Here we go again. 

My thoughts paced back and forth. In between the stress and the tears and the fears, came doubt.

I've been here before.

In this place where the storm clouds are high above my head just settling there. Waiting for me to move so they can follow. Because no matter how hard I've tried,  they still follow me.

And so I remember what to do. I force myself out of this place, out of this fear, and I pray, despite the subtle lies, I pray. I journal, take a walk/run with some praise music to the King, and I pray some more.
I fell asleep praying, woke up praying, spent the day praying.... and forgot slightly about the nightmare that was looming around me.

I can't lie. I'm still worried and afriad and annoyed and angry and doubtful at times. The storm clouds have grown lighter, but they haven't moved yet. Depression, stress, and fatigue are threatening to overtake me.

I'm scared.


He did the impossible before and I trust Him to do it again. It's not over. No, the fight is still being won.


War Room - review

So if you haven't seen the trailers, the Lifeway promotions or gotten an email about it, there's a new movie out by the Kendrick brothers called,War Room. I have not seen it yet, but I had the pleasure of getting a free copy of the book to review. So without further a do, here's my review...

First off, let me say that I used to think that fiction books weren't "Christian enough" to read. Ya' know what I'm saying? Like, how could you possibly learn the things of God (ummm... Jesus used parables... yeah my little brain didn't think about that till later.) by reading about fake stories? That was my mindset for a while until I read some things on C.S. Lewis and Tolkien. Mind = changed.

War Room has been a book that God has used to slowly change my heart towards my sweetheart. This book revolves around the lives of Elizabeth, her husband Tony, their daughter Danielle, and Miss Clara. Elizabeth and Tony are encountering marriage problems but when the Lord brings Miss Clara into their lives, everybody is changed, not by Miss Clara, but by the Lord.

The power of prayer is hugely a part of this book. I must say that God has shown me how belief vs. doubt is a battle in what we choose pray for. Sometimes doubt can be the very thing that propels us toward prayer and furthermore, belief.

I have so enjoyed reading this book. It is a page turner, a faith encourager, and just an all around great read. It does have some adult situations so parents keep that in mind when thinking about this book for your children. I would place the age group to 16yrs and up.

I'm thankful that Tyndale let me review this book. Such a good read! Recommended to all married couples.

*Note: I received a free copy in exchange for a review. All views expressed are mine.