Pain in the midst of the happiest time of year

Christmas time is here.

Adelle is singing in the background of my life... or so it feels like.

Can you hear me? 

Why do I say that?

Because joy may be great for others right now, yet for some of us we feel that subtle pain that comes around the Holidays.

I feel it. Oh, do I feel it.
Strong, yet somehow subtle.

It wasn´t until I looked rather closely at myself that I see the sin that has easily crept into my life and my heart.

I pray to become more like Christ, but here I am- sitting in sin... in filth. When just like a mom cleans her baby, my Heavenly Father has offered cleansing from this filth.

But I hold on. I become stubborn. No, Lord, I want this.

He lets me have it. He lets me have this sin until I realize, no, I don´t want this. I really don´t.

And just like Paul in Romans 7, the things I love I don´t do, and the things I hate I do. Why?

Lord Jesus, rescue us! Rescue me!

This is why He came. Maybe this subtle pain is here to remind what this time can really be- to reflect on the One who came and has abolished the chains. To reach out our hands, our very lives and cling to the hope He gives and the mercy He offers.

Thank you, Jesus.

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